Experts Say Do These Little Things Early in the Relationship.
One of the most exciting times in a new relationship is when your butterflies start to turn into something more serious. At the same time, it is also a stage in which you may be guilty of over-thinking every last step . Wait until tomorrow to answer? Why am I the only one who initiates dates? What if they don’t feel the same as me?
It’s true that these little things can have a big impact, especially when you start to get into real relationship territory. You want things to be easy and also set the stage for a relationship with long-term potential.
Below are some of the little things that relationship experts say will create a solid foundation for a new successful relationship, so you can spend less time stressing and more time enjoying this exciting new event in your life.
Submit your response as quickly as you want.
Are you guilty of waiting hours to text or call your date just to sound cool? Has this ever worked for anyone? “When you start dating someone new, don’t be afraid to text them as soon as you see the message,” says therapistJeff Gunther . Gunther, who posts on TikTok as @therapyden , continues that fast response times can “create a ton of security” right now as a relationship is developing.
Take turns making plans
When one person falls into the role of “planner,” you can create an uneven dynamic — with all sides of unnecessary resentment. “If they initiated plans the first time, you can initiate them a second time and so on, but don’t always be the first to text, call and initiate plans,” says Dr. Kelly Campbell , a licensed psychologist and professor of psychology. at California State University, San Bernardino, specializing in relationships. Campbell told the bride that your new partner might stop making efforts if he gets too used to you doing all the work.
You are interested in someone new, so go ahead and be interested in everything about him. This means asking questions about their thoughts, goals and daily life. Another tip from Gunther is to remember the little details of your day so that you can ask about them later, such as a meeting they were nervous about or a movie they were looking forward to.
Curiosity also means that you are not fixated on an idealized version of someone, but instead “stick to flexible thinking about each other,” says Lindsay Antin , a therapist in Berkeley, California. Keep an open mind and try to see this new person. for who they really are.
If you like them tell them
Hard-to-reach play is greatly overrated. You hate bombing someone , but “be open about how much you enjoy spending time with them,” says Gunther . His ideas for little things that can make a big difference include direct comments such as “I just had a good night with you,” or telling you they give you butterflies.
Mingling things up early can be “helpful,” according to Dr. Campbell . Spice up your first date routine with these ideas that don’t go to the bar . This way, you don’t get stuck in a rut right at the start of something new.
Let’s say they like you
Confidence is the key to success. Gunther says, “Stop scanning for reasons that may not interest you,” otherwise you will surely create a self-fulfilling prophecy . Don’t let your anxiety sabotage the relationship before it actually starts.
Be honest and be yourself
Look, sometimes the advice is trite for a good reason. “The only thing you have to do at the beginning of any relationship is to be who you are from day one,” says relationship coach Chris Armstrong at Bustle . “People often talk about the honeymoon phase and how quickly it goes, but they don’t realize that much of this disappearance is due to what I call a false start.” A “good experience” can be misleading.
I’m not saying that you should lay out all your injury cards right away, but be honest about your interests and shortcomings. Don’t think of love as a job interview.
The point of all this advice is that by being open and honest now, you can lay a solid foundation for your relationship in the future. If you’re going to sweat over the little things, you can sweat to your advantage as well.