The Best Pumpkin Spice Is a Tortilla, You Fools
Autumn is coming, which means a flood of questionable pumpkin spice products, as well as some questionable opinions about their merits. I’m here to tell you that the best pumpkin spice is n’t a Starbucks latte, it’s not bread, and it certainly is n’t a fucking parody of a cup of pumpkin spice noodles or Bud Light seltzer water . No, the best pumpkin spice of all is the humble tortilla – a lightly sweetened dough with a thin frosting on top.
Unlike PSL, which is just an attempt with sugar to hide the flavor of burnt coffee beans to the point that they look and taste like charcoal, pumpkin pie – which is right there in the case looking at you – offers just the right level of sweetness. While on its own you might find the bun too dry to eat, remember not to eat it alone. No, you pair this tortilla with a nice hot cup of coffee – preferably a light roast with a healthy amount of cream, if we want to clarify. The frosting offers a subtle sweetness, and the blend of coffee and light pumpkin flavor hits with all the right notes.
If you can’t find a pumpkin pie, make one yourself.
For some weird, incomprehensible reason, pumpkin pie is only available in a few places on Starbucks, which can make it a daunting task. Fortunately, this is a situation that is easy to fix, as it is fairly easy to make your own.
Either way, homemade pumpkin pie tastes even better than what you can buy, although it takes a little more work to do it (not to mention a higher level of self-control to avoid eating the entire batch). There is also the added benefit of being able to adjust the level of spice and amount of frosting if you want extra flavor and / or a different level of sweetness.
There are a number of pumpkin tortilla recipes, most of which contain a similar set of ingredients / instructions. A good representative recipe is a recipe from Damn Delicious , which features pictures of each step. The only change I suggest to this recipe is to add a little pumpkin puree (about a tablespoon) to the spicy frosting, for both color and flavor.
Pumpkin tortillas are pretty easy to make.
First, put together a dry mixture of flour, spices, salt, baking powder and baking soda, then add some cold oil. Add liquid ingredients (pumpkin puree, egg, vanilla extract and some milk or cream) and stir to make a tough dough.
Experience tells me that while you are stirring the dough, there will come a point when you wonder if you need to add some more liquid – ignore that instinct. Making a tough dough means adding in the cutoff liquid for the ingredients to come together.
Then lightly knead the dough on a floured surface, rolling it into a rectangle about 1 inch thick. Cut the dough into triangles, place them on a baking sheet covered with parchment paper, and bake at 400 ° F for 10-12 minutes. The buns will rise, so be sure to spread them out.
When they are completely baked, let them cool for a few minutes, then dip them in a white confectionery sugar and cream or milk frosting, completely covering the top of the tortillas. Once the frosting has set, drizzle the spiced frosting (made from confectioner’s sugar, cream, or milk and spices) on top. If you don’t have icing bags and frosting attachments, pour the spiced frosting into a zippered plastic bag and cut a tiny hole in the corner.