How to Start a Business With a Relative Without Destroying Your Family
At first glance, starting a business with a family member might seem like a great idea. After all, blood is thicker than water and all that. But no matter how good your family relationship is right now, you are far more likely to fight with a family member than with a traditional business partner, and the ripple effects of that fight can extend beyond professional and personal.
If you’re taking the plunge anyway, here are some tips to help you avoid fighting (and ruining your relationship) if you’re going to be doing business with your family.
Recognize That Doing Business With Your Family Is Difficult
You grew up with your siblings or you know your cousins very well. You know what will turn them off, how likely they are to play dirty in fights, and which of you should keep the accounting and which should serve the customers. Damn, you’ve been preparing your whole life to deal with this person professionally! Use what you already know about each other – both good and bad – to conduct your business, both professionally and personally.
“Because we are a family — and a very close family — sometimes our ideas contradict each other,” said Angela Nardello, who owns bars in New York with her brother. The two used to work under their father, but after his recent death, the operations fell to the brothers and sisters. “Many times we have had little arguments about something as simple as the color of the chalk used for the sign, whether a new menu item should be served with fries or onion rings, or how many employees should be at the party. … My father had a very unique way of doing things. He was a little more old-fashioned. “
Nardello is showing the right awareness here, so pay attention. She knew her father and brother well and knew what they agreed on and what they did not agree on. Don’t be surprised if your business partner expresses a liking or antipathy that you already knew about. You will not get ahead in business if you are not realistic about each other.
Michael and Zach Zakar are 28-year-old twins who co-wrote Pray Merry (and its accompanying off-Broadway production) and How to Be Happy as Heavens . Zach was the one who answered the questions about what it was like to work and wrote together: “You know how they say that you are the worst critic yourself? This man clearly did not have a twin brother.
Basically, you are going to disagree. Lot. Prepare for this and then get used to it.
Say goodbye to non-working hours
When your family consists of colleagues, even time at home will be time at work – working with your family means a constant combination of your personal and professional life.
“One big downside is that the work comes home with you,” Nardello said. “It’s there when you go to bed, when you wake up, on holidays … It’s non-stop.”
Try your best to keep the conversation going about the store where it belongs (in the store, not at the dinner table), but also know that everyone involved is human and that feelings come with us wherever we go.
Be a big man when you can
Nardello remembered arguing with her family about the color of the chalk for the sign, but the Zacar twins even had a falling out over one word.
“Sometimes it can be difficult to say something to your work partner,” Zakar said. “We wrote and fought for an hour over the word regulate, because I thought it sounded stupid and he liked it. We are perfectionists at heart, so sometimes it can be hard to bite your tongue. “
You may still need to bite your tongue at some point, no matter how hard it is. Remember that the success of your business depends not only on your ability to work together, but also on a number of family factors. Don’t blow up a family over a word or an onion ring! You wouldn’t be in business if you didn’t have a solid money-making plan, so focus on the power of your product and do whatever you can to make it successful, including becoming a bigger person.
“Nothing is permanent,” Zakar added. “In many quarrels, we argued over ideas. We now speak with respect to each other. It took only 11 years. Communication is the key! “
Finally, know that this can be great too.
Of course, you will have disagreements that a standard set of business partners would not have, given your close relationship with another person, but that relationship should be strengthened as well as destroyed.
“No matter how much we fight – and we fight – the end product is always better than we imagined, because we can talk about our ideas as foolishly or seriously as we want,” said Zakar. “It’s like having a different pair of eyes that think the same way you do.”
Nardello said: “I know a lot of people say that working for a family is the biggest mistake, but I feel like it was the best decision I have ever made. I think it brought me a lot closer to my father and brother, especially when it came to my father. Like most fathers, he worked hard. When I started working for my father, it brought us closer and helped me to better understand him as a person. Now that my father has passed away, I am so grateful that I worked with him because the memories and things he taught me, the crazy things he did, even the funny arguments we had are the things I have. in heart forever “.
Sometimes you may have a hard time finding your footing and wanting you to work with someone with whom your relationship is purely professional, but once you get over a few family problems, you may also feel great, celebrate your success with someone. whoever you love.