How to Make Friends After Big Life Changes (or Ever)

Did your friends leave during the pandemic? Did you get a new job and find yourself among mysterious colleagues you only know from Slack and Zoom? Have you recently moved to an unfamiliar city? Do you just want to remake or add an existing Friends Group? Yes, kindergarten is easier, but adults can still make new friends even in unfamiliar or uncomfortable circumstances. Here’s how.

First, be receptive to new friendships.

Not to reveal the whole Secret on you, but if you are open to new friends in your life, they will come.

“Try to be yes,” advised Bobby Sparnroft, 30, from Queens. “Be open to new things and new places.”

He added that you will be even more fortunate if you – and that is his words – “ignore your face.” Sparnroft also noted that you should try to be “calm” and understand that everyone you meet, from colleagues to clients, is potential friends. Either way, you are already building a relationship with them.

Lorraine T., a 33-year-old female transplant from Los Angeles to Austin who moved to work and declined to give her last name, agreed, although she used a little less piquant language when she said, “If you want to be friends, be friendly! I know it sounds obvious, but so many people move to a new place, don’t try new things, don’t express themselves in new ways, and never make friends. My advice is to be friendly (but don’t get thirsty!). Talk to the people you interact with on a daily basis. Be friendly to the barista at the local coffee shop. Mention that you are new to the city, ask them questions about what they like to do. Ask them what’s cool about the city. Heed the advice and check everything. “

Go to places you like

Lorraine is right: check things out. It’s not difficult, but if you love art and history, go to a museum. If you love fitness, take a spinning class. If you love reading, go to the bookstore. The people there probably like what you do. Now you have something in common, so go to someone who looks approachable in the first step.

“Go somewhere, even if it means going alone,” advised Lorraine, who met some of her best friends that evening when she went to a concert by herself after a client at her work told her that he in Group.

“My personal favorite social events are comedy shows and quiz parties. It’s especially nice to have small party parties once a week because you can invite people in a very relaxed environment, ”said Annie Rauverda, a 21-year-old student at the University of Michigan who saw the opportunity to move to New York when her classes were far away. during a pandemic. “Another great way to meet people is through fitness groups. There are so many running and cycling clubs throughout the city and many of them are free to join and welcome people of all skill levels. Plus it’s a motivation to train. Two birds with one stone! “

Rauverda also created an Instagram page, @depthsofwikipedia , which quickly gained 288,000 followers, so she was able to connect with a multitude of people who share her unique passion for the free collaborative help site. Remember, online friends are still friends.

However, you want to find real friends, which is why Sparnroft says hiding online won’t help: “You won’t find people sitting at home. We are all used to it because of COVID, but really the only way to make friends is to go out and meet new people. ” In short, be brave.

Look for other friend finders

There are social clubs you can join so that you know you have common interests with everyone, and that interest comes down to making friends. You’ve probably heard the radio ad for the My Social Calendar Club, but did you know there are even friend-making apps?

Bumble, the dating app, has a fork called Bumble BFF that will match you with potential new friends. You can also use the dating app to chat by simply writing in your Tinder or Hinge bio that you want friends and benefits for you. Other apps like Meetup and Hey! VINA, created especially for friendship. If you’re comfortable with going on a date on Tinder, consider going on a date with a Bumble BFF. Nothing special.

Be the one you would like to be friends with

This is a transitional period in your life, whether it’s because you’ve just moved, want to find new influences, or have been locked up for too long due to a pandemic. You have the power to change your life the way you want it.

Not only should you go to events and places that match your interests, but you should also consider creating some new hobbies. If you’ve always wanted to try pottery lessons, go and find a friend. If you’ve never been so passionate about sports but want to watch a basketball game, go find a friend.

What people would you like to be friends with? Think about the traits you value or are looking for in a new friend, and then work to build those traits in your personality. Why not add a little self-improvement to this journey?

“The key is if you want to befriend, be interesting and, more importantly, be interested in the people you meet,” advised Lorraine. “Not everyone will become a friend, but if you are active and show kindness and openness, you will eventually find your tribe.”


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