How to Give up a Date and Why You Might Want To

As the world continues to open up again, parents’ phones everywhere are lit up with invitations from their children’s friends for a little old-fashioned fun, which is a relief for many who have been locked up with their kids all day all day long. last year. However, despite the rise in social activity among adults, a coronavirus vaccine for children under 12 is unlikely to appear earlier this year. Add to that the typical, non-pandemic reasons why parents may be afraid to say yes to a certain play date, and our kids may be facing more social deviations than usual this summer. It’s okay if we refuse carefully.

Despite all the safety measures families have taken for the play date , there will be times when the other family will refuse – or even not respond – to an invitation, which can hurt the adopting child. But as our children’s social and safety leaders, parents have the opportunity to be examples of courtesy and kindness when invitations run counter to their well-being or schedule. Not everyone is comfortable in every situation, but the ghost of another young child is never cool.

Here are a few reasons why parents don’t play games – and (hopefully) how to do it without embarrassment, resentment, or tears.

Why Parents Give Up Games

Dating is popular because it gives non-host parents a chance to be alone and also gives children the opportunity to be social and independent with friends outside of kindergarten or school. But sometimes a parent may simply not feel comfortable giving their child to another family’s home.

The 2019 CS Mott Children’s Hospital National Child Health Survey asked parents of children ages four to nine how they felt about dating. When the game was played in someone else’s house, more than 41 percent of those surveyed said they were concerned about the level of supervision of their children, slightly higher than fears of abuse, exposure to harmful substances or injury – the latter. be especially smart if the other family has a pool or trampoline.

In addition, 17 percent of parents surveyed said their decision to date was influenced by how well their child interacts with strangers, more than 10 percent were worried about their child’s fear of pets, and about eight percent were worried about their children’s nutrition. or health.

If the kids are young enough not to get vaccinated (or parents are worried or unfamiliar with the vaccination status of other family members), that might be reason enough to want a rain test while playing this summer.

When should you quit the party?

While safety is the main reason parents refuse dating, the survey also found that less than half of parents asked the other parent about safety issues before playing, and only one in four parents asked such questions themselves. Some families feel that their values ​​for child safety are shared, and many parents are hesitant to voice their concerns for fear of offending the other parent’s feelings or questioning their parenting skills.

However, the best way to find out if you and the other parent share the same safety values ​​is quite simple: ask them. The survey showed that most parents will not be offended if the other parent discusses these issues before playing. Some parents have found it helpful to put together a checklist to make sure all safety issues (COVID or otherwise) have been resolved and to discuss any food safety concerns before sending their child to another home. If their answers aren’t satisfying to you, it’s time to consider giving up this date — good .

How to politely refuse a date

According to Romper , being honest is the best way to refuse a party with grace and tact. You may not want to fully explain the reasons why you decline an invitation – whether it is due to social distancing, health issues, or other issues – but most parents understand that your child’s safety is more important than any social security. being active and honest is better than being caught in a lie.

If being too honest can offend the other parent, you can always easily let them down by saying that you are busy with “family time.” (Just don’t offer a fake rain check unless you want to be on the hook before meeting in the future.) If you want to say yes, but the date at their house makes you wonder for whatever reason, you can suggest changing the meeting place to your house or the nearest park. You won’t have the time you dreamed of being alone with yourself, but you also won’t deprive your child of much-needed social time.

Whatever you decide, answer quickly and politely so as not to leave the other child in limbo.

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