Why Do Babies Beat Themselves and What to Do About It
We recently talked about what to do if your toddler hits or bites . While you definitely hoped that your cute baby wouldn’t hit or bite, you probably also knew that these are the usual things that many toddlers do because of frustration, attention, or lack of communication skills necessary to get your point across. However, you may not have been prepared for them to hit themselves.
Toddlers don’t just lash out at others to give free rein to their feelings. Sometimes they can turn these big feelings inward by hitting themselves in the head with their own hands or by banging their heads against a wall or other structure. Although less common than being hit or bitten by others, it does happen and can be scary when it does. Let’s start with why babies can hurt themselves in this way.
Why do babies beat themselves
A toddler can hit himself for many of the same reasons another child can hit someone else, namely frustration at not being able to fully communicate his desires, needs, or feelings. They may also seek the attention a behavior receives, especially if you had a strong reaction the first time they did it, which is not surprising given that it could be unexpected and shocking to you.
In some cases, as reported by Healthline , it can also be complacency or sensory behavior:
Some children crave physical sensations more than others, or have a slightly dull sense of pain; in response, they may start beating themselves to satisfy the desire for physical stimulation. Some children also turn to repetitive physical movement as a way to calm down when they are stressed or tired.
But unlike blows or bites from others, the baby can hit himself in the head for another reason – he is in pain. If they have teething or an ear infection and are unable to communicate how they are feeling, they may bump their heads to try to point out or deal with it. If you notice that he hit his head or face in a certain area, it could be a sign that he is feeling pain, so look for other symptoms.
How to deal with it in the short term
If your toddler starts pounding himself, the first thing to do is 1) make sure he is physically safe and 2) help him calm down. This can mean covering corners or sharp edges if they bump their heads against a piece of furniture, move them or any objects they use out of reach, and hug them with arms in a bear hug that is strong enough to prevent them from continuing to hit themselves (but not too much). As Verywell Family recommends:
You can take your hands and prevent them from hitting you by blocking your fists. This action can be soothing and may be enough to calm the baby and stop self-harm. The goal is to create a safe, loving environment for children to allay the pain or frustration they experience.
In particular, if what they are looking for is sensory information, a bear hug or this type of blockage may provide some information to help them calm down. You can also try showing them a safer way to express your frustration, such as hitting a pillow, stamping your feet, or taking slow deep breaths. A few sips of water, a soft toy, or a pillow may also help, depending on the child.
Talk to them in a soothing voice and try to verbalize their feelings and situation by saying things like, “You seem to be really angry! It’s hard to leave the playground, isn’t it? I wish we could stay and play forever! ” It helps them feel heard and understood and gives them the language they need to express their emotions.
How to deal with it in the long run
If the hit is not an isolated incident, it is important to start tracking patterns or triggers. There may be a special physical need such as hunger, thirst, teething, or fatigue. If you know what their triggers are, you better prevent a tantrum before it starts and eventually they will develop the language skills they need to communicate their needs.
When in doubt, if you are concerned about behavior, it is always a good idea to talk to your pediatrician. Specifically, here’s when Healthline invites you to call:
- You have tried to stop the behavior with conventional strategies, but nothing has changed, or it has gotten worse.
- Your child is injured (leaves himself with bumps, bruises or scratches).
- Your child has a speech delay or cannot hear you clearly.
- Your child is showing signs of a physical illness, such as a fever, loss of appetite, fatigue, or irritability.
- Your child also has developmental symptoms such as autism spectrum disorder or sensory processing disorder.
Pediatricians see this behavior often, so they will advise if something is a phase, or when it is time to have a physical exam or refer you to a specialist. Meanwhile, they may have other strategies in addition to those mentioned here that may be helpful for you and your child.