How to Recognize and Manage Your Fear of Success
The fear of failure makes sense. We’ve all experienced failure at some point, realized it wasn’t good, and worry about feeling it again. But our brains are hard to please. Because besides the fear of failure, many people also have the fear of success.
While this may sound ridiculous, it is possible to be afraid of success, although it is not always obvious. In other words, you may experience fear of success and not be aware of it (or group it with fear of failure). Ideally, we want to avoid this kind of stress and fear, so here are some tips on how to recognize and deal with the fear of success.
What is the fear of success?
First of all, it is important to remember that you are not afraid of success itself, but of its consequences. Kendra Cherry explains this concept in an article for Verywell Mind :
Fear of success includes fear of achievement, often to the point where people sabotage themselves … Since expectations of success are often based on the idea that achieving your goals means sacrifice or enduring loss, it may not be surprising that people may be afraid of what is in in the end, success may cost them.
How to identify fear of success
According to a 2018 article published in the University Journal of Educational Research, fear of success can take the form of any of the following:
- Worry about whether your success could change your relationship with the important people in your life
- Feelings of apprehension about new responsibilities that might come with your success
- Fear that your life will become more difficult and you will feel out of control.
- Concern that you are more likely to receive negative comments and reviews – both in general and on a wider scale.
How to deal with your fear of success
Everyone will react to success – and their fear of it – differently, so the question is to find what works best for you. If conventional stress-reduction techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, relaxation, journaling, etc., work for you, then by all means try them.
But for everyone else, these methods may be more useful:
Rethinking negative beliefs
Instead of thinking about success the way you are now (which makes you nervous), rethink your view of achievement. Here’s Cherry again to explain:
Start paying attention to some of the negative beliefs you might have.
Do you associate success with negative results? Are you worried about what other people might think? Once you become more aware of these negative thinking patterns, you can start working to replace them with more positive ones.
Get used to enduring discomfort
The ability to tolerate discomfort is not only about coping with the fear of success, but also a whole host of other unpleasant sensations and scenarios. Per Cherry:
Because fear of achievement can lead to avoidance behaviors, one way to deal with this is to improve your stress tolerance skills. When you are experiencing uncomfortable or unpleasant emotions, try to gradually learn to come to terms with these feelings, rather than run away from them.
Like everything else, this mentality can take some time to get used to, but gradually you will get used to the discomfort and be able to overcome it, instead of letting the anxiety of its experience hold you back.