When to Call the Police in Your Neighbors and When Not to Call
How many of us have not lived in close proximity to a loud, inattentive, rude, or even aggressive neighbor? Throughout my life, I have separated many walls (even now, living in a twin house), and on the other side of these walls there were several characters . One family loved to leave sacks after sacks of trash on the street for weeks or months (on the communal veranda, in the stifling Arizona heat). We also suspected some pretty strong drug use there, and apparently, once this guy accidentally shot himself in the arm. After them, we were happy to see a cute old lady who let her dog shit right at our front door, and behind her a young man who played video games all night (with a subwoofer, because hearing that was not enough – we also needed to feel it ). And now we have a couple who get into epic fights from time to time.
To some extent, this is exactly what comes with the territory of neighboring residence. But sometimes the music gets too loud for too long or the argument gets so hot that you think it’s time to intervene. And hey, that’s what the police are for, right? To enforce laws and regulations and ensure the safety of community members? Unfortunately, however, we know all too well how a well-intentioned call to the police, even for a rather minor issue, can quickly escalate and lead to unnecessary injury or even death.
However, there are times when you need to call the police. But before you reach for your phone, here are a few things to consider and tips to try if you’re struggling with some of the most common reasons we call the police on our neighbors.
Minor irritations and eyesore
Weeds and grass as large as your children; that rusty old car that had been parked in the same place on the street for years; the trees are so overgrown that they block the mode of transport; outside of the “storage”, which is really just a bunch of junk – any of these things can seem minor annoyance at first, and ultimately drive you into complete frenzy. But as unpleasant as they may be, these questions are not up to the police.
Your first step, as awkward as it is, is to talk to your neighbor. Do not do this on a day when you are greatly annoyed by this problem. Sip a cup of tea, meditate a bit, and then move on to your calmest and friendliest behavior.
Start by offering help. Do you have to mow another homeowner’s grass, haul out their old trash, or trim their trees? No, of course not. But maybe the reason they do n’t do it is because they don’t have the right equipment, or they are overworked, or they have an old back injury that occurs every time they try to deal with it. Using naughty grass as an example, if they need a mower but can’t afford a new one, you can offer them to borrow yours after you’ve finished mowing their grass, or help them find a used one that someone else is selling. locally.
If they are physically unable to get the job done and you don’t want to get hung up on it, maybe you can help them find the teenager next door and they can pay to get his hair cut once a week. If you set them up on a schedule, routine work becomes automated for them, and the problem will be solved. Be that as it may, consider that they need help.
If you’ve tried this and they’ve made it clear that they don’t want your help, your next step is the homeowners association (if you have one). The HOA will have rules and regulations that every landlord must abide by, and if they break, the association can issue notices that direct them to resolve the issue within a specified time frame or impose a fine.
If they don’t need your help and don’t have a HOA, the next stop (if you want to continue this work) may be to research whether you have access to community mediation in your area and whether it makes sense for your situation. With community mediation, a neutral third party can work with individuals to arrive at a peaceful settlement.
If you’ve exhausted all your other options, your last stop is to contact government officials in your city or county to ensure that they comply with their own local laws and codes.
Noise
At some point in our lives (I look at you, in college) we may have been people harassing the neighborhood with our nightly parties and our stupid loud music. But now we are old and we need every minute of sleep we can get and who the hell is NOT STARTING yet at this hour ?
We’ve written about how to deal with noisy neighbors in the past, but here’s a quick rundown of the steps you should take:
- Talk to them; chances are they don’t even realize that they are too loud or that it is affecting your life in a certain way, such as disrupting your child’s sleep.
- Suggest a plan or compromise: If noise is a persistent problem (say, “band rehearsal” in the garage late at night), perhaps you can negotiate a shutdown time.
- Come up with possible solutions: There might be ways to reduce the amount of noise entering your home (wireless headphones, anyone?), And if you have any ideas, now is the time to suggest them.
- Give them at least one warning before you escalate: if none of this worked and you are about to report the noise to your landlord, management company, HOA, or – in extreme cases – to the police, you may need a final warning. it makes them take it seriously.
- Talk to your landlord, property management company, or homeowners association: if the warning didn’t work, it’s probably time to talk to someone about it. Prepare a list of specific examples, including dates and times when the noise was particularly unpleasant.
- As a last resort , contact the police: Be prepared to demonstrate that you have attempted to fix the problem in multiple ways of your choice, and report this by telephone, not an emergency phone – your department is not 911.
( Read more about each of these steps here .)
Arguments and Domestic Violence
Okay, this is the most important question because of which you will probably be the most at odds with each other. When you hear an argument escalating, especially if you hear other sounds such as screaming, banging, cracking, or the sound of things breaking, your every instinct may want to call for help. But, as Katie Ray-Jones, CEO of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, told HuffPost , if you don’t think a person’s life is in danger, calling emergency services can do more harm than good.
Even if you have good intentions, she said, it’s impossible to know without additional information whether the victim wants police intervention or the police could cause additional harm.
Many survivors choose not to involve the police for a number of reasons: they may not have documents or fear that the police will harm or even kill their partner, especially if they are black or brown. They may themselves be afraid of arrest. They can count on their partner’s income. They may worry about being evicted for breaking laws that punish victims for crimes committed in their homes. They may not want to break up the family. Etc.
If you hear suspicious or unpleasant sounds, one option is to speak with the possible survivor of domestic violence in person the next day (when they are alone). Tell them what you heard, ask them if they are okay, and ask what they would like you to do if it happens again – without any guilt or judgment.
If you are unsure at the moment whether you should call the police, you can first call, text or chat with a member of the National Domestic Violence Hotline , which offers 24/7 support and advice to help you decide what do next.
If there is an incident involving a child and you fear for his immediate safety, you should call the police. Otherwise, if you suspect physical abuse, sexual assault, or neglect ( as defined here ), you should call your local Child Welfare Service.