How to Talk to Someone Who Scares You
While there are no set criteria for what makes a person scary, it’s usually some combination of how you interacted with them in the past (if applicable) and your perception of that person as smarter, more organized, more prepared, funnier, more attractive. , more charismatic and / or more powerful than you. And if the thought arises in your head that someone is scaring, it can be difficult to convince yourself otherwise.
Fortunately, there are ways to make it easier to talk to the person who scares you, as Kelsey Borresen of the Huffington Post talked about in a recent article. Here are some tips from experts to help you with your conversation.
Come prepared
If you know ahead of time that you will be talking to someone you find intimidating, for example, during a meeting or at a specific event, be prepared for at least what you have to say. No, this does not mean that you need to write, memorize and recite the script – just a few general points are enough, Borresen writes .
Remind yourself that this person is also a (flawed) person.
Just because you think someone has some advantage over you does not mean that they are not a difficult person with fears and disadvantages. “Tell yourself, this person has breakfast like me. This person is as sad as I am. It helps change your perception of a person from “intimidating” to “human,” ”communications coach Jennifer Kammeyer told the Huffington Post .
Don’t forget what you bring to the conversation.
No matter how scared you are by this person, it doesn’t take away your strengths, so rely on them. “Before you get down to business, remind yourself why you’re here,” Kammeyer told the Huffington Post . “Someone else invited you to a meeting or social event for some reason. Tell yourself why you were invited and how you add value. “
Use your body language to your advantage
It goes beyond not cringing, slouching, or making it obvious that you are scared by this person, but actually using body language as a way to help yourself during a conversation. Here are the instructions on how to do this, courtesy of Kammeyer:
Stand with your feet hip-width apart, or sit with your knees apart and both feet on the ground. Don’t cross your legs or arms. Focus on the feeling that your feet are literally grounding you. Focus on a straight posture with a strong belly and back. Physical grounding helps build confidence.
Even if you don’t feel confident, you can at least look fit.