What’s the Best Parenting Advice You’ve Ever Received?
A lot of parenting advice is bad advice. It’s not just that standards and social norms change over time, it’s also that when something works for one parent and one child, one parent tends to see their method as “right” or the best – or even the only way. But for every parent who would never let their child “cry out,” there is a parent who swears that this was the only way to put the child to bed. Thus, much of the advice young parents receive is advice on how best to raise specific children who are not their own children.
Yesterday we talked about the worst parenting advice we’ve ever received . However, it’s fair to admit that while too many people mistakenly think they know how to make you a better parent, from time to time someone will give us true words of wisdom.
Some of my favorite pieces of advice came not from a wise elder relative, but from a magazine that I absentmindedly leafed through when my son was only a couple of weeks old, he slept next to me (obviously, “sleep when the child sleeps”, isn’t it “) t resonates with me). It said that in order to be happy parents and raise happy children, we must give 75 percent of our efforts to parents. Not one hundred and seventy-five percent or even 100 percent, but just an average C, 75 percent.
This epiphany came when I found it terribly difficult to breastfeed, but I couldn’t switch to formula lest I become a terrible mom who cares more about her own comfort and sanity than fighting for the best nutritional choice for her baby. I hated the decision I made to use cloth diapers, but obviously cloth diapers were the more natural choice, so I hated it didn’t matter.
Of course, I’ve heard the cliché that every parent has heard over and over again: put on your own oxygen mask first. But our plane didn’t crash, and it wasn’t an emergency, so I didn’t feel the advice was applicable. However, when the feeling came to me in this changed state – to devote 75 percent of my efforts to parenting – it turned out that in the vast majority of cases, the decisions I make as a parent will not be extraordinary. But all the ways that I could be perfect will affect me until I became a very good mother on paper , but it was not a real joy to be around her.
This advice stuck in my mind as my son got older. I didn’t need to be a mom who would lie on the floor all the time to play with him; but when I did, I was completely busy. It’s okay if my child has eaten a lot of hot dogs in his life; he also eats vegetables, and sometimes the easier path is happier. If I don’t try to do things right, I have more time and space to breathe, even without an oxygen mask.
So tell me in the comments: What’s the best parenting advice you’ve ever given or received? What poignant guidance has stayed with you for years to come, or what little trick has made one little corner of parenting easier for you?
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