The Adult’s Guide to Childhood Culture: Love of Ostriches and the Return of MySpace

The internet recently spat out three new animal-centered celebrities: Gorilla Glue Lady, Ostrich Lady, and Cat-Lawyer. It’s a bloody zoo, folks. Plus, since it was Valentine’s Day, Minecraft became surprisingly romantic.

Banning Hairstyles This Week: Lady Gorilla Glue

On this week Tessika Brown sent the entire Internet on an emotional journey focused on the hair. The saga began with an Instagram video in which a Louisiana woman revealed that she had recently run out of a hair product, so she used Gorilla Glue instead. This was a bad idea; Within a month, her hair was permanently glued to her head with industrial glue.

Millions watched her video, and while some of the jerks laughed at her, most of the internet residents responded with sympathy and offered solutions such as “rub your head with tea tree oil” or “try acetone,” but Brown’s hair remained so hard she couldn’t even shave it off. Fortunately, the unfortunate woman’s fate attracted the attention of Los Angeles-based plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Obeng, who suggested surgical removal of the adhesive. Brown’s manager – you need a manager if you have glue in your hair these days – told People.com that the procedure was successful and the glue disappeared, but it was quite a major operation and it could take a couple of months to fully recover. I hope Brown and her hair comes out of this unscathed and fabulous.

Viral Video of the Week: Get Into the Feline Lawyer

Attorney Rod Ponton inadvertently created the funniest video of the week when he appeared at a Zoom trial in Texas 394, disguised as a kitten. This was not a Matlock -style ploy to get a confession from a canine criminal; Ponton had technical problems.

“Mr. Ponton. I believe you have the filter turned on in your video settings,” Hon. Judge Roy B. Ferguson obligingly suggested.

“It is, and I don’t know how to remove it,” the adorable white kitten replied. “I’m ready to go further. I live here. I’m not a cat. “

However, in a beautiful illustration of the Milkshake Duck Internet phenomenon, it is revealed that Ponton’s kitten lawyer can actually be terrible : a woman from Texas claims that Ponton stalked her and used his position as prosecutor to stalk her after their the relationship is over. Ponton denies it all … but wouldn’t a sane cat say so?

This week on social media: MySpace is back

Ahn, a teenager from Germany, used his isolated time to bring back the essence of the classic social networking site MySpace from Internet death. Anya’s SpaceHey is a replica for MySpace around 2006 when it had 100 million users and every terrible band on earth used it to promote a new song.

SpaceHey has everything you remember: blogs, newsletters, instant messaging, and the ability to use HTML and CSS to customize your pages. Perhaps best of all, the creator of SpaceHey says it will try to collect as little data from users as possible in order to provide more privacy than, say, Facebook. So far, Anya’s nostalgia experiment is going well – since its launch in late November, more than 55,000 users have signed up.

“I was only a few years old when MySpace was popular,” An wrote to Vice.com in an email meant to make me feel very old. “I’ve never used MySpace. However, thanks to older friends and the Internet, I have heard a lot about this. I came to the conclusion that these days it is impossible to find something like that, where everyone could be creative. “

Please befriend me on SpaceHey . Currently, I only have default friends, and I don’t want to wait for an eleven year old to decide to restart Friendster or the zygote feels nostalgic for Bebo.

This Week in Novels: A Woman Loves an Ostrich

Ostrich Rehabber (yes, that’s a real career) Wendy Adrians took over the heart of the internet this week with her TikTok video, which seems to feature a romantic date with an ostrich in time for Valentine’s Day!

Almost three million people watched the happy couple play on the blanket, while the theme of the plays ” Braveheart” and the grotesque creature sensually place their hideous neck on Adrian’s shoulder.

I think that ostriches, like all animals, are terrible and only want to kill us, but even I was touched by the interspecies devotion demonstrated here: find yourself a partner who treats you like this internet ostrich heals its rehabilitator and you Be always happy. Or at least get a bunch of views on TikTok.

This Week In Video Games: Valentine’s Themed Minecraft Worlds

Gamers celebrate Valentine’s Day this year by creating romantic Minecraft worlds for their loved ones and then sharing their reactions on TikTok.

The love of nerds is incredibly charming. For example, try saying “yyyy” while watching @kashii , who all day for the love of his life gave a pink overdose-pixel explosion of hearts and flowers, or try not to smile romantic video @ dinosourchickennuggies rollercoaster ride that ends with a heart love letter written by their beloved. Here’s the hashtag if you want to know more about this quirky and stunning love trend.

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