How to Speak More Respectfully About Race Relationships

Vice President Kamala Harris’ marriage to Doug Emhoff is historic: Emhoff’s status as the first Second Gentleman in the country’s history is a major milestone for US politics, but his proximity to the White House means the interracial couple has become a real milestone. a position of national prominence is rare throughout history.

With a 400-year legacy of slavery and racial oppression comes an ever-evolving understanding of how to debate contemporary racial politics in America. This legacy has shaped our national and personal understanding of how to discuss interracial relationships, which can still be subject to both casual and overt forms of rejection.

This is how we can view the vast arch of civil rights history when discussing race relations today.

Before 1967, interracial marriage was illegal in many states.

Interracial relationships are largely taboo 400 years ago. According to a survey by Ferris State University, an ordinance was registered in the Virginia Colony in 1661 prohibiting interracial marriage .

Even after the Civil War and Reconstruction, laws prohibiting mixed marriages prevailed across the country – rules prohibiting marriage unions between white and non-white men and women. These laws were ingrained in the social dynamics of 19th century America, and only a few states, such as Pennsylvania, Washington, and Maine, repealed the laws before 1888.

Many states gradually abandoned these rules in the 20th century, but it was not until 1967 that the matter was brought to the Supreme Court amid a fervent civil rights movement. Loving v. Virginia dealt with an important case that ultimately determined that a white man, Richard Loving, could marry Mildred Loving, a black Native American woman in Virginia. Before it got to the nation’s highest legislature, the couple were sentenced to a year in prison after tying the knot in Washington, DC, although a Virginia judge “deferred the sentence by 25 years on condition that the couple left Virginia. “, – the National Constitutional Center reports .

The decision overturned bans on interracial marriage in 16 states where mixed marriage laws were still in force, and signaled a retreat for Jim Crow as President Lyndon Johnson prepared to sign the 1968 Civil Rights Act. The meaning of a loving decision:

The United States Supreme Court unanimously overturned the Virginia court ruling and ruled that the equal protection clause required rigorous scrutiny to apply to all racial classifications. In addition, the Court referred to the Due Process Regulation and concluded that abusive racial discrimination was at the heart of the law, making it impossible to satisfy urgent public interests.

“According to our Constitution,” wrote Chief Justice Earl Warren, “the freedom to marry or not to marry someone of a different race belongs to that person and cannot be violated by the state.”

The legacy of the taboo still remains

When it comes to interracial relationships, there is a legacy of misunderstanding – and there are clues to recognize to avoid falling into the trap of taboo.

As Kendall Tiarra recently wrote in an essay for PopSugar, there is still a culture of fetishizing people of color that can affect everyday interactions with white people. Tiarra explains that even well-intentioned gestures can be quite racist at times:

It is very problematic, even for well-intentioned white people, to turn my female attractiveness into a simple sexual fetish. The middle of these two extremes does exist, and if you think connecting me with some random white dude who “likes black girls” is a favor, then you are racist too.

Avoid well-meaning but problematic comments

You can be in a mixed race relationship and still behave in a racist manner; Just because you are in love with someone of a different background does not mean that you cannot hold onto stereotypical beliefs.

Psychiatrist Margaret Zaide explained how it works in an interview with Insider last year :

You can be racist when meeting blacks because I don’t think blacks are associated with stereotypes, concepts or images of blacks as poor, dishonest, cruel, untrustworthy people – there is so much more than just color.

When it comes to discussing race relationships, there is a bit of irony that it is best to treat a mixed race couple like any other couple while ignoring the urge to join the color blindness concept. To this end, it is best to avoid over-claims about how beautiful their hypothetical children might be, as this can only reinforce misconceptions about exoticism.

We may also not ask questions about whether a couple’s parents or family are upset about choosing a soul mate. It is true that mixed race couples are more socially acceptable than ever before, but there is still a latent anxiety in American society that often manifests itself in different ways, such as when mixed race couples are bombarded with these uncomfortable questions. These are good lessons to learn when it comes to mixed race couples from all walks of life, from the VP to the people we know personally.

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