Child Culture Guide for Adults: Warning Signs
This week the Internet talks about the possibility of causing great harm. Maybe it’s a do-whatever hangover, who cares at all? the atmosphere of the last four years, but for some reason all I see is flashing red danger signs, from the financial Goliaths owned by Internet Davids to bad guests at night games and the myriad problems you can face repeating that what are you looking at Tik Tok.
This week on Internet Alerts
There is never a shortage of “Don’t Do What You Seen On the Internet” stories, but swearing has reached its climax this week, so I have compiled a list of online things that can harm you, your children, and Western civilization.
- Avoid lying down in the middle of the road with a sheet covered, and hope you don’t get hit by cars .
- Avoid using erection cream on your lips to increase their fullness.
- Don’t use a dating app while you’re out on a date .
- Don’t bully your grandmother.
- Don’t sleep while driving, even if you are driving a Tesla .
- Don’t throw cake at the bride .
- Don’t have sex with virtual Keanu Reeves .
High Finance This Week: GameStop stonks
Rarely do young people care about the stock market, but the Internet nearly bankrupted a billion dollar stock fund this week. Here’s a quick snapshot of the situation (from a guy who fully understands the stock market thanks to viewing Trading Places in 1996): Recently, daytime trading on the Wallstreetbets forum on Reddit noticed a hedge fund was in short supply : Selling GameStop stock. This could have been a good bet for the fund given GameStop’s financial woes, but when the Redditors took notice, they started buying GameStop stock at a low short price. This led to a rise in prices. With every tick to the sky, the hedge fund was losing money.
Then the big investors noticed and bought the bubble. In a tweet, Elon raised the share price from $ 147.98 to $ 230, and further purchases spiked to nearly $ 350 a share and then dropped to “just” $ 200 a share. A few months ago, it was trading at about $ 4, which means an eight thousand percent rise from the lowest to the highest. With the price in the stratosphere, the hedge fund has been taken hostage like the dukes at the end of the trade , and things will (presumably) get worse when they are forced to buy back the stock they closed.
Day-trading apps like Robinhood prevented users from buying GameStop stock, which policymakers from AOC to Ted Cruz thought was bad. Poorer people were making money and richer people were losing (at least for now), and how it all ends is anyone’s guess – maybe the rules will be changed for short selling, maybe Reddit will crash the global economy and send us in Mad Max style . a post-economic hellish landscape where we will buy stocks of guzolene and metal shoulder spikes.
Celebrities you’ve never heard of: Riyaz Ali
Before the Internet, there was little chance anyone in the US would have heard of Riyaz Ali. The seventeen-year-old lives in India with his family, loves lip syncing with other people’s music, wears nice clothes and dreams of one day becoming a Bollywood movie star. He also has around 48 million followers on TikTok . This is about the South Korean population … all for the random kid from India who is lip syncing.
He is, of course, a charismatic young man, but the fact that your children, me, and now you, know his name, must mean something, but I do not know what exactly. Modern fame is weird as hell.
Viral Video of the Week: Game Night Stereotypes
It’s been nearly 38 years since someone had a gaming night that didn’t involve Zoom or Discord, so you can blame nostalgia forGaming Night Stereotypes toppingout at the top of the YouTube trending chart. The comedy video from Dude Perfect was viewed 11 million times in a couple of days, and it details all the annoying types of people who would come to play Boggle if coming to play Boggle was still something. So if you miss Forever Dice Roller, Poker Poseur and I’m Always Red, this video is for you. Make sure you stick to the end of the video to memorize the sequence of the destruction of the room. (By the way: you will all be invited to join me at Settlers of Katana as soon as you show your vaccine papers. I miss the game evenings.)