How to Raise More Than One Child, According to Reddit

It is impossible to fully imagine the experience of fatherhood until it is in the thick of things. You assume that you will love your children and fear for their health and safety. And you are sure that at times it will be difficult – even downright difficult. But it’s only when you first take your child in your arms that the grandeur of it all — love, fear, crushing exhaustion — will hit you head-on.

So it makes sense to ask – after months, weeks, or hours of your parenting journey – how the hell are people raising more than one of them at a time? How is this possible in terms of logistics? Oh god, are the twins’ parents okay ?

When a new parent recently came to Reddit to ask this exact question, they got the most honest and sincere answers. Here is what u / Embarrassed-Sock1460 asked :

How do people cope with more than one child? My wife and I think we will have 3-4 children. However, we have a 3 month old baby at home and I have NO IDEA of how people cope with more than one baby. Do parents somehow become more effective with more children?

Any veteran parent can feel the weight of their stress in all of these question marks. But Reddit reassured Embarrassed-Sock1460 that it is indeed possible to survive raising more than one child. Here’s how:

Your standards are falling

Ditching standards is key when raising multiple kids, as many Redditors immediately pointed out:

  • “You agree that everyone’s needs are not met as quickly as when you have them pretty quickly. It turns out they can cry for a few minutes and not die lol. (U / steeltoesnstilettos)
  • “The first child is a precious, fragile toddler who must be watched, looked after, cared for and disturbed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The second child is strong and durable, he is able to survive the attempts of an older brother or sister to turn him inside out. The big bro tries to see if the leg can be removed by unscrewing it, and the little one is completely satisfied with the attention. The first child is carefully swaddled in odorless natural fibers and carefully observed for the slightest sign of discomfort. Secondary supplies are slightly stained, and “caution” means do not drop, or at least do not drop frequently. The first child is placed in a quiet darkened room with quiet music; the second child naps on the floor during Barney’s dance party. The first child receives a careful and methodical introduction to new foods with a food response diary; the second child eats everything that fell on the floor yesterday. And so on. “(You / ditchdiggergirl)
  • “Man, we’re just pretending until we do this. I have three of them, and I really can’t “handle” even one. You just find out that some things will not go the way you want, try to feed them and without hurting yourself or each other, you will be fine. ” (n / insanealienmonk)

Plus you get wiser

With parenting experience comes wisdom, and this wisdom is the key to raising multiple children:

  • “Subsequent kids have their own problems and definitely have scheduling and time quality issues with each new addition, but overall it’s easier because you’ve done it before, you’re older and (hopefully) wiser, and you’ve learned that things matter. and which ones are distracting. Although we do not plan on having any more, I could completely throw it out of the park if we had a fifth. ” (u / AgentUpright)
  • “We have 7 people, age from 2 to 17 years. We have learned one thing – to choose battles. Some things just aren’t worth fighting for. A two-year-old doesn’t want to get dressed? Okay, wear your pajamas all day. We also learned that both parents need to act as a united front. We do not allow children to turn one parent against the other. ” (u / C_Alan)
  • “The choice of battles is the key to success! So far, what they are wearing matches the weather and the games; what they eat is healthy enough and they don’t kill each other, okay. They know what is non-negotiable. ” (u / TheYankunian)

Timing is everything

The most interesting thing about parenting is that every child is different, every family dynamic is unique, and everyone tends to think their path is the best because it worked for them. This is why it is interesting to see commentators recommend the ideal age spacing for the following children:

  • “You have to separate them. The rule is not to have two diapers at the same time. Otherwise, you’re completely fucked up. “(U / lehigh_larry)
  • “I have two of them, but I have separated them by more than four years. Two in diapers, Two non-verbal, it’s a nightmare. But when a person is at school all day and can have a snack / go to the bathroom by himself, it’s not so bad. ” (u / Frostyarn)

And then see how others vehemently object:

  • “I have a completely opposite opinion – I am very glad that I was still in the diaper area when # 2 arrived. (With a difference of 18 months, but we adopted the child, so there was no struggle with pregnancies). If you’re still in shit up to your elbows, it won’t kill you a little more, and you’re used to it. I think that returning the changing table after I experienced freedom would kill my soul. ” (you / ditchdiggergirl)

So, while spacing can be anything, you will have to follow your instinct to pick the right spacing for you .

And remember that this will pass too

One kind Redditor helpfully reminds us that the infant stage, while intense in every way, eventually ends:

  • “Remember that you are condemning parenting while you’re at the most difficult and tedious part of it. I have three of them, and they are all separated by 3-4 years. By the time the next one showed up, the elders were already wiping their asses off, sleeping all night and pouring their cereal. I’m not saying it’s still not difficult or tiring, but in a way it’s getting easier. ” (u / bethmcgary7)

In other words: don’t worry. You are still adjusting. Maybe it gets easier, or maybe you just get used to the fact that it’s hard. In the end, things won’t be so bad either way.

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