How to Avoid Pessimism Every Year
Pessimism gets a bad reputation, but in reality a negative worldview can serve some important functions. These include everything from helping us deal with anger , establishing new relationships with realistic expectations, and setting us up to achieve our goals . And according to productivity expert Stephen Kotler, author of The Art of the Impossible and founder and CEO of the Flow Research Collective, we tend to become more pessimistic as we age.
In a recent discussion on the Mindbodygreen podcast, Kotler explains why this isn’t always a bad thing, noting that our increasing pessimism with age is more of a gradual shift from “purposeful thinking” to “fear thinking”.
“Everything we see and what we face is actually shaped by two things: our fears or our goals, ” he says in a podcast. This is why this happens and how we can control our age-related pessimism.
Why do we become more pessimistic as we age?
Kotler explains that there is a reason most people switch from focused thinking to fear thinking. This is because as we age, the stakes get higher for every decision we have to make – whether it’s because we have to consider a partner, family responsibilities, or a career. As a result, safety and security can be more important than setting or achieving goals.
There is research to support this , showing that older people are no longer risk averse than younger people. That’s not a bad thing, of course, and Kotler notes that it makes sense because “the things you care about start to grow.” But this is not the only result of increasing pessimism with age: it can also cause you to reach a point where fear of failure will cause you to stop setting goals in life entirely.
How to curb pessimism as you age
While making decisions based on the perceived, potential, or actual risk of something makes sense, Kotler sees this as a problem when it comes down to not setting goals at all. This can happen when someone reaches some or all arbitrary social milestones, such as getting married, starting a family, buying a house, etc. Here’s how Kotler puts it :
“We hit our early thresholds and stopped setting goals. As a result, the system says, “Well, if you no longer have goals, I want to keep you safe and help you survive.”
Fortunately, there is a way around this: keep setting long-term goals. Setting daily goals is a good idea, but to deal with this particular aspect of pessimism, Kotler says making tangible and concrete plans that will help you reach a realistic long-term goal is a good way to balance your needs with your safety ambition.