How to Offer Help to Someone in a Crisis Situation
When bad things happen to people we care about, it can be difficult to feel anything other than helplessness. But as people who by nature want to feel that we are in control of our circumstances, we do not tolerate the feeling of helplessness very badly. Therefore, in response, we become aggressively helpful. Of course, we want to help our loved ones, but the feeling that we are doing something for them also makes us feel more comfortable.
By default, you can do this by saying, “Let me know if you need anything.” But, as Redditor allegedly claimed back in 2012, this is the wrong move because when you think about it, you’re actually burdening someone with the task of reaching out to you for help. So when someone needs your help and you want to offer it, be specific.
Suggest specific ways you can help
In these cases, it’s important to be specific, because people who struggle to handle everyday tasks on their own may not feel good about asking you to do them a favor. Instead, put in an effort and think about what you can do to help them. While there is nothing wrong with letting someone know that you are ready to help, if you really want to be helpful, arm yourself with suggestions and solutions.
If you’re not sure where to start, here are some classic suggestions:
- Watching your children and / or pets
- Walking the dog
- Collecting products
- Executing other assignments
- Giving them food, or better yet, buying gift cards at their favorite restaurants or food delivery services.
- Getting them Uber or Lyft gift cards
- Provide an ear if they ever need to vent (and if that seems too general, take a time, like half an hour, for example)
We know that you mean good and only want to help, just like the person you care about. Just go beyond the usual “let me know what I can do” and make specific suggestions. This article was originally published in 2012 and was updated on January 7, 2021 by Elizabeth Yuko with more information and suggestions, and to add a new header image and align the content with the current Lifehacker style.