The Adult Culture Guide to Childhood Culture: Hot Girl Ish
It can’t be ignored anymore: Christmas is almost here, and it’s time to obey – to surrender to our unique American celebration of the day in which religious feelings and shopping become one. This week’s adult guide is all about this Christmas, with gifts from TikTok, exploding glitter bombs and new holiday classics. But no PlayStation 5. Those things are out of print.
Trend of the week on TikTok: “Shit is hot girl”
Hot Girl Shit is the Christmas present we all need. The TikTok trend started with the great Megan T Stallion, who said in her song “Girls in the Hood”, “I can’t talk right now, I’m doing shit with hot girls.” However, in the TikTok videos that get all the reviews and reposts, their subjects do the exact opposite of what you might think of as hot girl shit.
For example, watch Riley Isaac shave her stomach , All About That Bass singer Megan Trainor checks her glucose levels , Yolanda Dong cleans her retainer , and Justina Valentine washes her dog’s ass . Not only is this the perfect structure of an anecdote tweaked to the end, but undermining this hashtag of traditional gender roles adds about a million dots on the Internet. Spend your vacation watching these videos .
This Week in Music: The Greatest War Front on Christmas Day
Christmas War is heating up every year this time around at the bloody cutting edge of Billboard’s hit music charts , where mainstream songs battle tough holiday ditties for sheer supremacy in streaming. # 1 on Billboard this week is permanent Christmas warlord Mariah Carey, whose earworm tinsel “All I Want For Christmas Is You” is number one with a bullet.
But number two is 24kGoldn’s awesome Mood, not a Christmas carol, which is actually good. Number three in the charts is a puzzle; somehow “Rockin ‘Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee is now the third most popular song in the country. Of all the Christmas songs, this one?
On the heels of Lee, however, is Arianna Grande’s “Position”, another non-holiday song. Filling in the top five, yet another truly awful Christmas song, Bobby Helms’ Jingle Bell Rock – don’t people know there’s a whole Motown Christmas album you can stream? I look forward to the imminent victory of secular music on December 26th.
Viral Video of the Week: Shiny Bombs Against Porch Pirates
People love YouTube engineer Marc Robert’s holiday videos. Histhird annualshiny bomb video, in which he creates incredibly complex shiny bombs, disguises them as expensive gifts, and then leaves them on the porch to steal, has been viewed over eight million times on his first day online.
Although I appreciate the over-engineering of the packages – they have a dedicated PCB that controls four cans of fart spray, a massive release of biodegradable gloss, flashing lights and sirens, sound clips from Home Alone, and four iPhones to record from all angles – and the victim’s reactions are amusing. , general exercise is worrisome. Of course, people shouldn’t steal packages, but the sheer number of videos of children really makes you wonder why people are stealing Christmas gifts, because now it’s hard guys.
I have a bleeding heart, but maybe publicly humiliating someone is bad, even if they really do steal packages? I say I have mixed feelings. But you do, and let us know what you think in the comments.
This Week In: Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey
You want to watch a good Christmas movie with your child, right? But with so much Christmas trash produced every year, it’s hard to find. What are you going to do as you comb through the thousands of silly, offensive reimagining of the Santa Claus origin story? Endless cheap holiday romance comedies from LifeTime?
You will be forgiven to miss all the holidays, burn your Christmas presents, walk out behind a stack of smoke and never return home. Thankfully, Netflix put out a holiday movie so good this year that it will keep you out of the holiday crime race. Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey aims to join the ranks of annual celebrations such as It’s a Wonderful Life, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Hunter ‘s Night .
This movie is Christmas. It penetrates right into the Christmas gland of your body, with its steampunk and Dickens designs, incredible musical numbers and a legitimately emotional fairy tale of the holiday. Please watch this movie with your children.
This Week in Video Games: Finding the PlayStation 5
If your kid wants a PS5 this year, you better get it like yesterday. Sony’s video game console joins in with such popular Christmas toys as Cabbage Patch Doll, Tickle Me Elmo and Furby.
In search of the elusive console, distraught parents, wives, boyfriends and singles camp in front of their local GameStop, update the websites of major retailers a billion times, and commit daring violent robberies .
The feeding frenzy is partly a legitimate desire for a new technological product, but there is another, darker reason for the scarcity. Gaming smirks use bots to instantly buy back as many PlayStations as retailers provide to resell on eBay, sometimes at more than double their original retail price. While retailers say they are doing their best to fight bot shoppers, legitimate shoppers are turning to bots as well, because that’s literally the only way to get a PlayStation 5. Christmas is great, am I right?