How to Know When You Are Actually Wrong
In any dispute, it can be difficult to say who is right and who is wrong. Unless you are one of the parties involved, that is, because you are definitely right. Right?
It is difficult for people to understand when they are wrong, and it is even more difficult for them to give up a position when they have accepted it. According to Vox writer Brian Resnick, who has interviewed a number of sociologists who are essentially studying what it takes to become humble, this ability is called ” intellectual humility .” Intellectual humility is not the same as insecurity or shyness; it focuses on curiosity:
It’s about entertaining the possibility that you’re wrong and about learning from the experiences of others. Intellectual humility is about being actively interested in your blind spots. One illustration is the ideal of the scientific method, where a scientist actively works against his own hypothesis, trying to rule out any other alternative explanations for a phenomenon before reaching a conclusion. It’s about asking: what am I missing here?
Intellectual humility has advantages other than being the first to end an argument. People who can think and ask questions often have stronger critical thinking skills and are better able to tell real stories from “fake news.” It is more difficult to make a fool of someone who questions everything, including what comes from their own lips. Here’s how to find out when you got it wrong, and what to do about it.
Understand your brain
We tend to think of truth as some measurable absolute, but the reality is that two people can experience the same events in completely different ways – not only because of different origins, but also because of how their brains processes information. Reznik cites thedebate between Yanni and Laurel, or this terrible dress dispute . One may sound or look different from person to person:
Light enters our eyes, sound waves enter our ears, chemicals enter our noses, and our brains have to make assumptions about what all this is.
So first, instead of assuming that someone else doesn’t know what they’re talking about, or is an outright liar, consider how your brain could simply process information differently.
Another interesting thing about how the brain works is that the more often we hear a lie, the more likely we are to believe it to be true (which explains a lot in the world right now; the more often you tell people that elections were falsified , the more people will believe it , not to mention there is no real evidence to support your claim.) When you hear something repetitive, it becomes easier to understand, and when something seems easy to understand, you consider it “reality.” It is important to remember that just because something seems easy does not mean it is true.
Finally, your memories are unreliable. This is difficult to combat because our memories are what is used to build our story and sense of self. When all of this is violated, it can be scary. Fear usually leads to anger, and anger never helps in a fight. If two people cannot agree on what happened, they may both be telling the truth, but they just remember it differently.
Gradually add humility
To avoid the destabilizing feeling of questioning everything you remember and believe, try gradually adding intellectual humility to your life. University of Connecticut philosophy professor Michael Lynch told Resnick that people need personal beliefs, and it’s all about balance.
“A personal question, an existential question that confronts you, me and every thinking human being:“ How do you maintain your impartiality towards others and at the same time maintain your strong moral convictions? “Says Lynch. “This is a problem for all of us.”
This means being open to revisiting your beliefs, allowing them to grow and changing, and questioning your inner flaws. And when you find that you were wrong, learn to admit it.
Admit that you’re wrong
This is, of course, the hardest part. But if you’re willing to work to see someone else’s point of view, why stop yourself? It’s hard to do, but there should be some consolation in the fact that, according to Reznik, people don’t judge you as harshly as you might judge yourself:
As Adam Fetterman, a social psychologist at the University of Texas at El Paso, discovered, in several studies , admission of wrong is usually not rigorously addressed. “When we really see someone admitting that they are wrong, the person who is wrong is seen as more outgoing, more friendly,” he says. According to his research, it is almost never the case that “when you admit that you are wrong, people think you are less competent.”
Intellectual Humility: The Importance of Realizing You’re Wrong | Vox
This post was originally published in January 2019 and was updated on December 14, 2020 to bring content in line with the current Lifehacker style.