Don’t Give Someone a Pet
I’ll be the first to admit that the puppy in the photo above is adorable, which seems almost criminal. Nothing deserves to be so cute: he’s compact, almost like a teddy bear, and I absolutely want to bury my face in this fur, which seems to be made of clouds and love. He even looks like he needs a little cheer, and oh, how I want to cheer! If you gave me this puppy, I would squeal with delight. However, by next week, I’ll be pretty angry with you. Because it’s almost never a good idea for one person to give another pet a pet.
You are responsible
This year there were … attempts. We could all use the new bright spot, the new furry friend, to call ourselves ours. But with great attraction comes great responsibility – especially with an animal that, in its early days, will piss on the floor, scratch the sofa, or chew on your child’s LEGO mini figs. Even animals kept in an aquarium or cage need to be looked after. They need to eat. They deserve to live in a clean environment. They need a certain level of constant attention. Always wanting a rabbit and really caring for a rabbit are not the same thing.
Even if you are part of the same family – say, you donate a pet to your partner – and are willing to take on most of the family’s new pet care, the responsibility will never fall 100 percent on you. One day the pandemic will end and you will return to the office or leave town on business. Either you get sick or busy, and your partner will have to retrieve a present to pee in a blizzard. By this time, this cute puppy has already turned into a full-fledged dog, and your partner curses you under his breath.
And then there’s financial responsibility. Even if you have reason to know or believe that a person has the financial ability to care for a pet, that doesn’t mean they want to spend their money on caring for an animal. My dog’s dental bills alone are breathtaking. I wasn’t fully prepared for this – and luckily I can afford to look after his teeth – but it was a responsibility I took on myself and not blame anyone else for it.
It’s a bad idea, even if you know they want it.
Maybe they’ve been talking for years about wanting a bearded dragon. Even if you know them! You are completely sure that they want it, maybe they even said that they will get it , and you want to be the one who will really make it happen. Do not do this. You may be missing important information – specific factors that you don’t know to take into account.
First, it goes without saying that if they really wanted one, could afford to take care of it, and had the time and energy put into owning it, they would probably have pulled the trigger by now. If they haven’t, it could be due to space issues, the need for more thorough research on the breeds, concerns about how their children will interact with them, or simply an inability to currently take care of one more thing.
Besides, I would like to choose a cat for myself. I like cats. In particular, I’ve always wanted an orange cat – a detail that I’m not sure my own husband could tell you about, because that’s not something that often happens. A person may want to spend the “this dog must be my dog” moment at an animal shelter. This bond, they should not be forced!
Don’t give animals to your children
Basically, I thought about this topic because my 10 year old child really wants fish. I already mentioned that we have a dog, and I’m not particularly interested in looking after something else. I thought the desire for fish would subside over time, but the little dude still loves it. So we thought we could get him one for Christmas and I reached out to the Offspring Facebook group for customization advice. Received a lot of recommendations for aquariums and heaters and fish species. And I received a thoughtful comment that instead suggested letting him participate in the process.
It really made me think that yes, waking up with a fish on Christmas morning would be pretty cool (although logistically the more I thought about it), but part of the excitement of getting a pet is to pick it up. I’m sure he would like any Betta I chose for him, but the anticipation of knowing he’s going to get it and picking from tank accessories is also fun. So, he gets an aquarium for Christmas (please don’t tell him) and the promised fish, and then he becomes part of the rest.
The only exception
I see only one exception to this rule: if the recipient of the animal has, clearly, told you that they want to be gifted this one particular animal (not only the kitten, but this kitten), and they have an age or maturity level to take responsibility. that this particular animal will entail – or are you willing to help. Then by all means tuck this puppy under the tree and enjoy the subsequent delight.