How to Have Anal Sex for the First Time

You’ve first encountered anal play , you’ve played with a few toys , and now you’re ready to put that P with an A. Here’s your guide to everything you need to know when you first try anal. …

What’s all this fuss about?

Anal sex is pretty polarizing. Many people love this, and many do not even understand the temptation to try it. No one should force you to try anal sex, but there are some good reasons to try:

  • This is good. There are many nerve endings in and around the anus that will make anal exploration worthy of your attention. Some people can orgasm even from one anal play.
  • It’s naughty. The still taboo nature of anal sex undoubtedly adds to the enjoyment of the experience.
  • This is something new to learn with your partner. Are you a little bored with your daily routine? Anal will definitely shake things up.
  • You can undermine gender roles. Lesbian and heterosexual couples can use strap-ons during anal to play with their typical bedroom roles.

If this moment does not interest you a little, I can do nothing to help you. But if you’re intrigued, read on!

Keep it safe and clean

As with any type of sex, you must take precautions to keep yourself safe during anal sex. You cannot get pregnant, but you can transmit an STI through anal sex. In fact, the frequency of transmission in anal sex is higher than in most other intercourse, as anal tissues are sensitive and susceptible to microfissures. Use a condom if you are not already liquid-bound with your partner.

Hygiene factor is one of the main reasons people avoid anal sex. A lot of guys are worried about poop (yes, that’s the official term). We will not lie to you; your penis is likely to come in contact with traces of feces. But the key word here is traces . When you are on the toilet, feces slides through the rectum and anus, but does not remain there the rest of the time. Here are some steps you can take to keep things as clean as possible:

  • Empty your bowels.
  • Shower after a bowel movement. Wash the outside of your anus with soap and water.
  • Avoid anal sex if you have an upset stomach or if you have had a messy BM recently.
  • If you’re really worried about cleanliness, you can always douche with an anal shower beforehand to flush out your rectum.
  • Keep wipes at arm’s length for easy cleaning. You can use a towel underneath you if you are especially nervous about the mess, but this is not necessary.
  • If you don’t want to risk even the chance of residues forming, you can use a condom.

After all, you are probably more paranoid about the purity factor than necessary. Anal sex is actually pretty clean and you probably won’t notice when the job is done and you leave anal town.

If you are playing the role of a pitcher in this scenario, it is usually best to let the catcher take the lead on hygiene issues. Chances are, they’re just as concerned about cleanliness as you are, and you don’t want to shame them by dictating to them how they should take care of their bodies.

Go to

Most anal virgins are bound to get a little nervous at first, so give yourself plenty of time to get horny. Do your normal business when you are naked together. If you are accepting a partner, having an orgasm beforehand will help your muscles relax.

Lube is non-negotiable for anal sex. Your rectum is very tight and doesn’t create lubrication on its own, unlike your vagina, so you need lubrication so things can slide properly . The lubricant will also prevent soreness and skin tearing. Try a silicone lubricant, e.g. Pjur Original Bodyglide, or lubricant on an aqueous basis, e.g. Wicked Jelle . Apply the lubricant directly to the anus, as well as to the penis, strap-on, or condom. Use a lot. Even if the amount seems ridiculous, it is necessary. Trust us.

When it comes to penetration itself, it’s usually best to let the receiving partner take control of the situation, at least initially. It is they who are in danger of experiencing pain. Setting the speed and depth of penetration will minimize pain and weaken any lingering nerves. One of the best positions for first time anal sex is doggy style. This allows the recipient to control movement and move as slowly as possible. Plus, the doggy style helps to reveal this whole area. A side-by-side spoon (when looking in one direction) is also a good position for beginners, although the pitcher will have a little more control than the catcher.

When you start, act as slowly as possible. Imagine that you are really in slow motion and try to move at half speed. The recipient should focus on keeping the muscles relaxed. You may feel instinctively tense, so keep taking deep breaths and try to release that tension. You are putting a large item in a small hole, so expect some discomfort (the amount varies by person). Some people will feel “it hurts so good,” but others may feel “intense pain” that feels sharp or stinging. If you are not sure what pain it is, be careful and ask your partner to stop and give you time to relax. Never force yourself to continue if it doesn’t feel right. Continue to slowly work your way down the shaft of the penis. Do not start pushing in and out until you have achieved full penetration and the receiver has learned to move forward.

Once you both feel at ease, you can increase your pace and start pushing more. You must avoid full extension and repulsion (this can lead to pain), so try to limit the thrust to a small range of motion. Be sure to keep sharing your likes and dislikes.

You now have the ability to add more stimulation to other parts of the body. If you are a lady catcher, do extra clitoral stimulation at the same time with the vibrator, your hand, or your partner’s hand. Doggy and side-by-side positions are easy for this. If you are a dude catcher, you can jerk yourself off or ask your partner to jerk you off.

What to do next

When both of you are done with anal fun, make sure the giver pulls out as slowly as possible. What is coming out of the anus from under the ring may sound a little odd, but if you slow it down, you will feel much better. Don’t worry if the anus doesn’t immediately return to its normal balloon state. He just got a little beaten and needs time to close again.

Dry yourself with tissues, then go to the bathroom for a more thorough wash. Even if the jug has used a condom, it is still recommended to wash it off with soap and water. The soap will also help get rid of the grease around the catcher’s anus. Make sure you have no other sexual contact before cleaning. In particular, inserting a penis that has just entered the anus into the vagina is a one-way ticket to vaginal infection.

With anal sex, the recipient is left with one long-lasting gift: poop. Your next bowel movement will likely feel like it’s slipping out of your ass. If your partner ejaculates into your anus, it will feel even more slippery (and may look a little strange). The fart may also feel different as it travels down your oiled buttock. Don’t be discouraged if you find some blood in your stool; anal tissues are prone to small tears. But if you have a lot of blood or persistent pain, call your doctor.

Unfortunately, anal sex still carries a bad reputation, but it can be extremely enjoyable for both the giver and the receiver, and can be a fun new journey to embark on together. Give a chance to the ass of love!

This article was originally published in January 2016 and was updated on November 13, 2020 to replace obsolete links and align content with the current Lifehacker style.


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