What to Do If a Friend Comes to You With an Exciting New Opportunity (MLM)
Your phone buzzes about a new message, and you look down to see a notification from a high school friend. It’s been a long time since you heard from them and immediately opened their message out of pure curiosity.
At first it seems like they just wanted to say hello – it was so long ago! – and make up for lost time. When it comes time for them to share what they’ve been up to, you’ll find out the real reason they contacted you: your friend wants you to know about this amazing new job they just got and tell you about the product they are recently received. found that I know that you will love.
At this point, it quickly becomes clear that your friend has become a member of a multilevel marketing (MLM) scheme. If you’ve already walked this path with another friend, family member, coworker, or acquaintance, you can try to thank your friend for thinking of you and wish him the best in their new endeavor rather than looking back.
But if this is your first MLM experience, or you can’t turn down other people, there’s a good chance you’ll soon find yourself eating snacks in your friend’s living room while they tell you all about their leggings / essential oils / cosmetics. Here’s how to deal with it .
Why concern about MLM?
Many MLMs are pyramid schemes. So your friend who is selling – sorry, consultant – a product was told that they can make money both from their own sales and from bringing in other people as consultants. But in fact, according to a FTC report, 99.3 percent of those who become MLM representatives end up losing money. More than half of the 0.7% that made a profit made less than $ 5,000, according to the AARP Foundation .
Despite its own number, the FTC expresses this rather diplomatically:
Not all multi-tiered marketing plans are legal. Some of them are pyramid schemes. It’s best not to be involved in plans where the money you make is based primarily on the number of distributors you hire and your sales to them, rather than your sales to people outside the plan who intend to use the products.
So when you receive this Facebook invite to a nail polish or additives party, what do you do? A recent article by PureWow editors reveals this.
If they ask you to attend one of their parties
Many MLM products are sold at parties hosted by consultants. Usually your friend tells you that there is absolutely no pressure to buy something and suggests that you just stop by for a snack, a glass of wine or say hello. There’s also a good chance they’ll point out that they ‘ve never seen themselves selling something like this, but once they tried the product, it changed their lives and they felt obligated to participate so other people could experience the benefits.
At this point, you can simply (and kindly) decline the invitation. But it’s better to stop there and not try to warn your friend about MLM, as cult deprogrammer Rick Ross thinks in his book ” Cults Inside Out” . Part of their training may have included what to do when they encounter dream thieves (that’s you) who envy them and try to hinder their success, so this strategy can backfire.
If you are asked to come to an appointment to learn how to become a consultant
Another way MLM consultants make money is by recruiting people to the company. While it is easy enough to leave a meeting (you have a very busy life), your friend may just keep asking you until you give up. PureWow editors :
Instead, the best approach here is a firm but polite “no thanks, I’m not interested in this.” While it might seem like attending a meeting isn’t bad for you, if you end up not wanting to get involved in your friend’s MLM drama, it’s best to keep it as far away from your friendship as possible. Ross’s mantra? “When in doubt, don’t do it.”
If you’re being asked to buy groceries due to financial congestion
If your friend is one of the 99.3% of MLM consultants who are losing money, they may ask you as a friend to help them by purchasing several pairs of leggings or bottles of lotion. As tempting as it may be to just buy something to help your friend (and get him to leave you alone), it’s ultimately just a temporary fix to their much bigger problem of getting involved in MLM in the first place, PureWow editors explain .
At this point, it may be time to talk to your friend gently and calmly. If they seem open to it, you can invite them to read (or give them a copy) of psychologist Robert Cialdini’s book Influence: The Psychology of Belief , which discusses how smart and logical people can fall in love with MLM, suggest the editors of PureWow .
If that doesn’t work, the next step is to contact your friend’s family and other friends to arrange for an intervention with a professional interventionist, which Ross says is successful about 75% of the time:
The ultimate goal of any intervention is to stimulate independent thinking by participating in an educational process that includes critical analysis. The person being interfered with must be personally involved and motivated, otherwise meaningful exchange of ideas will not occur and efforts will fail.
If you want to know more about MLM but haven’t done so yet, listen to the Dream podcast , which has done deep dives in MLM over two seasons.