Present a Crappy Handmade Gift for Christmas

There are few gifts that are happier than a loving thing – maybe a sweater in your exact size and favorite color, knitted by a grandma who cares about you and wants you to be happy. On the other hand, a crappy handmade gift is the worst. Yet politeness requires that you respond to these two gifts in the same way.

If you’re lazy, cheap, or maybe just a little wicked , you can use this trait of human kindness when planning gifts for a holiday or birthday. By the way, your child’s drawing teacher has relied on this principle for years. It’s time to give free rein to other adults who are waiting for real gifts.

The important thing is that when you give a gift, you make it clear that the gift is handmade. Really rub it in while personalizing the gift. Even if you do the same craft for everyone, explain to the recipient how you used their favorite color or expressed the interest you think they have.

If you want to be really mean, go too far with personalization. Knit their name into a hat. Create a painting for a specific, prominent place in their home. Give them “gourmet” homemade peppermint chunks if you know they hate mint. It’s the perfect way to have fun with that cousin you don’t like without giving him a chance to strike back – just be careful if they give you the same thoughtful gift next year.

But you don’t need to be more angry than you would like. The indication that the gift is self-made is just a handy card to avoid being criticized in custody. You may remind yourself of this when you are lovingly knitting a sweater that you fear may be unbearably wobbly. Or, you can gleefully remember that on December 23rd, when you decide to just stick some shit on a roll of toilet paper instead of going out to Christmas shopping.

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