Get Yourself a Fake Male Mate

Most of the women reading this, probably at some point in their professional careers (and probably in their daily lives) have been labeled “difficult,” “bossy,” or “impossible.” This usually happens when we do something completely unexpected, for example, self-affirmation in some way – something that men are socially conditioned and expected of them. In response, one person (most notably the writer’s friend Bess Kalb ) came up with a workaround: she created an email account under a male name to act as her assistant. Here:

Create an Email Account for the “Male Assistant”

Save this in the “Things we wish we didn’t hack, but unfortunately there are” section. You don’t need a man to tell someone that a woman is busy for people to believe it. And while unfortunately this is what will work in 2020, we have to pass this on to Kalba’s anonymous friend – it’s a pretty great idea. This is also one of those situations where you really have nothing to lose. It’s free to create an email account and won’t take long. And if it doesn’t work out with your “assistant”, you can always fire him. (No one would doubt this, given our current economic condition.)

Other fake men to add to your fake payroll

Following Kalba’s initial tweet, others began using their own similar strategies:

Administrator / answering machine

Writer Kim Kelly asks her boyfriend to answer calls from unknown numbers:


Others, such as Nicole Cardoza, founder of Reclamation Ventures, have a fake male assistant (“Mike”) who takes her orders:

And while this whole attitude may sound ridiculously funny, Cardoza emphasizes that this is not a joke at all – especially for women of color who are constantly asked to do various types of unpaid labor.


Apparently, women create phantom male “co-founders” the same thing:

Yes, ideally, patriarchy would have been broken long ago, and we would not have to resort to smoke and mirrors to be treated like competent adults. In no universe should a fake man commandmore respect than a real woman, but here we are. In other news, congratulations to all the fake Mike, Brian, and Brad who are about to get a fake hire. In this economy?


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