How to Know If You Are Doing Well

From the moment we are in school, we are often named based on how other people perceive our “accomplishments”. Some children are called “lagging behind” if parents or educators do not believe they are “reaching their full potential” (whatever that means). On the other hand, others are considered “successful” if parents and educators think they’re “taking on too much” and may be overexerting themselves, or worried that children are pushing themselves too hard to achieve what they think they’re doing. the adults are waiting. their. We rarely hear about general “achievers” or even don’t know how to measure our achievement (other than grades in school). However, these concepts can accompany us for the rest of our lives.

Growing up, most people feel “busy” all the time, and burnout is now an accepted part of our work culture and our daily lives. But does that make us all successful? To find out exactly what makes a person successful, we spoke with several experts in the field. Here’s what they said.

What are the signs that you are doing well?

Given that achievement can mean different things to different people – compared to what they think is most important in life – this is not an exhaustive checklist. However, knowing some of these traits can be helpful.

You have many goals (including secret ones)

Of course, everyone probably has some kind of purpose in life, but usually gifted people have several. As David Robeck , president and chief executive officer of Bridge Counseling Associates, explains , the term “overachiever” “is often sneering at someone who has achieved goals that are outside the norm, that others expect, or even seem fair to colleagues. For those who are called overachievers, it simply means that they have achieved their goals. “

Some targets are publicly available; for example, all of your friends and family may know you want to publish a book, run a marathon, or overcome your fear of flying . But gifted people also have secret goals. Robek suggests that some keep them with them so that others do not discourage them from doing this and do not create additional obstacles for them (real or perceived) that need to be overcome. “A successful person spends hours assessing unmet problems and then coming up with new or unique ways to solve them,” he tells Lifehacker.

One of the most prominent examples of this dual public / private purpose is in the world of sports. Here’s how Robeck explains it:

“We often see this in sports where an athlete wants to run faster, jump higher and score more points than anyone else. They usually start by defining a goal that seems out of reach by sporting standards. They experiment with new equipment, new stances, or strengthen different sets of muscles. When they reach or exceed their goals, they are often referred to as “successful,” but for them it’s just a milestone and a new goal is quickly set. Then others will try to live up to the goal, now that superior performance has proven possible. Remember the elusive four-minute mile, triple or quadruple skating jumps, or the ski jumper who turned his skis first instead of keeping them straight to achieve more air lift and blow away the competition? Yes, they were just excellent students who radically changed their sport. “

Once you reach your goals, you will earn more

Successful people tend to have multiple goals and projects being completed simultaneously, including those that are not necessarily related. Maybe you want to get a full-time position, learn to swim, go through a difficult childhood in therapy, and run for your local city council. In these cases, Dr. Leela R. Maghawi, psychiatrist and regional medical director of the Department of Community Psychiatry, says that the successful person remains committed to striving for excellence in every aspect of his life in which he sets a goal.

And as soon as any of these goals are achieved, they usually start working on new ones. “Their energy is their vision and belief or belief in the future of something bigger or better,” explains Robek. “Their achievement is realized when they consider and implement new strategies, engage and empower others, or, if necessary, view an unattainable goal as something truly attainable. Then identify, manage and take steps to adapt to it until the last unimaginable, unattainable goal, in fact, is not achieved. “

You are hard on yourself, but try to avoid negative judgments from others.

For many people, anxiety is the main component of their over-achievement. Magawi explains that this can manifest itself in different ways. Above all, successful professionals often blame themselves for failure and adhere to sometimes unrealistically high standards. “They are usually results oriented,” Maghawi tells Lifehacker. “They can be perfectionist and tough in their thinking.” Thus, successful professionals tend to have high expectations of themselves (and sometimes others), exercise diligence, and succeed in times of stress.

There is also a flip side to the coin: According to Maghawi, it can be difficult for successful people to receive constructive criticism. Of course, few people really like to hear about their shortcomings and ways to improve, but those who achieve high results take it one step further. By trying to proactively avoid negative judgments from others, they can invest additional time and energy in countless tasks, some of which may be completely unnecessary. The idea is that doing this extra work will provide some kind of cushion when it comes time to revisit their work.

For example, suppose your boss asks you to list 20 organizations working in a specific area. You are happy to accept the challenge, but you immediately start to doubt your methods and do not want to disappoint or make them work. So, “just in case,” you make a list of 50 organizations and include additional information that was not part of the assignment to try to make sure that you not only completed the task, but did your best to avoid criticism. … Unsurprisingly, according to Maghavi, this can lead to increased levels of stress and anxiety, not to mention working overtime and neglecting other important things like your own health, well-being and relationships.

You have a specific body language

According to Alison Henderson , an expert on body language, the way you move and hold yourself can indicate that you are doing well. “Body language can indicate what’s going on in the brain,” she tells Lifehacker. “People who seem larger than life in their presence and style of movement become so because their brains are working on many projects at the same time.”

Motion model analysts like Henderson observe subconscious behavior in order to assess and predict how people think and will react to certain situations. “If someone is moving quickly with a lot of pressure in focused movements, [then] their behavior is multi-layered, which shows us that several brain functions are simultaneously triggered,” she explains. “Tony Robbins’s explosion on stage is a good example of this. Large engines often work best when they have many projects running at the same time, setting themselves up for overachievement. “

An alternative approach for successful

Even if you recognize yourself in some (or all) of the qualities discussed above, it can still be difficult to call yourself too successful. “For those of us who are too successful, rank as such is irrelevant because we often feel like we’re doing what we’re supposed to do.” – Dr. Lee Davenport , author of Profiting Through Your Personality: As Leaders Producers Win Lead Generation, ”and“ How You Can Too, ” and strategic coaching consultant RealEstateBees.com tell Lifehacker. “It can be off-putting when it’s called“ over, ”“ too much, ”or“ too much, ”which is what the term means.”

Instead, Davenport recommends that those of us who may fall into the overachiever category take a different approach: the DISC Neutral Personality Profile . DISC stands for Dominant, Influential, Resilient and Conscious. “There is no wrong way of life,” she explains. “All individuals have their strengths and they are a necessary part of our society, just as all types have areas that can be improved as well.”

If you’ve never taken a DISC test before, there are free options available online . According to Davenport, the “dominant” personality is what most people mean when they call someone “overmatched.” Here’s how she explains it:

“As a D, your priorities might include getting immediate results (for example, have you ever caught yourself saying ‘Time is money!’), Taking action while challenging / forcing yourself, and perhaps even others (are you training do you do yourself or others better?).

Plus, as D, you might be motivated by victory, success, and just plain old-fashioned competition. Others have noticed that you are confident, decisive / straightforward (which may lead you to be mistakenly described as impatient, indifferent, or insensitive) and willing to take risks. “

If this resonates, then you may be holding a dominant belief. In this case, Davenport says it’s important to recognize two of your greatest enemies: boredom and holding hands. To “leverage your strengths” and minimize your stress or numbness limitations, she suggests setting (realistic) goals and creating (friendly) competition – even if only with yourself – to avoid boredom. Davenport also recommends that people in this category surround themselves with self-starters to minimize any attempts to hold hands.