Our Kids Are Watching Us Act Now
I’ve written about how to have various “ important conversations ” with our kids as they get older – just enough so that we group them into separate sections for you to easily review . Right now, we parents cannot afford not to talk to them about any number of complex topics – the global health crisis, systemic racism, LGBTQ rights, hate speech, white supremacy, consent. At least if we want their generation to do better than ours.
In addition to many of these conversations, we often point out that the silent example we set for them as parents is just as vital and powerful in helping our children become better children. We can talk to children about empathy, kindness, and fairness (and we should), but the way we act in the world really sends a message . Often this is what they actually absorb.
If we let the door shut behind us instead of keeping it open, we will send a message. If we are rude to a waiter in a restaurant, we send a message. Hell, even if we don’t put the shopping cart back in the store, when we’re done with it, we’ll send a message. And the message goes like this: ” My time matters, my experience matters, my convenience matters more than anyone else.”
A friend of a friend recently posted on social media about waiting in line for ice cream. Most of the clients were standing six feet apart and wearing masks, with the exception of two young women standing directly behind her. The wait became longer than she had expected, and the proximity and lack of masks of these young men made her nervous; finally, one of the girls called out to someone who was not standing in line: “Mom, do you have masks?”
The mother came up and said, “I have them, but you don’t have to wear them. The people in front of us were n’t wearing them. “
Our children – our little children, our big children, our teens and our grown children – are watching us right now. They expect us to teach them how to cope with the anxiety that comes from living in a pandemic. They turn to us to understand how to live in such a divided country. They need us to talk to them about these things, but they also need to see us doing the right things – regardless of whether everyone else in the queue is serving the same example.
I’m not here to explain to anyone why we need to take action right now. This has been explained. If you think COVID-19 is a liberal hoax, I cannot help you or your children. If you think Costco’s masked claim violates your rights, you are blatantly ignoring the rights of everyone else, and I cannot help you.
But most of us recognize that social life means we can’t do what the hell we want, when and where the hell we want to do it. In the United States, we have to drive on the right side of the road, even if we really prefer the left side so as not to crash into oncoming traffic. If we all follow this rule, we will all be safer on the road.
Our kids are number one in how we deal with everything that’s happening right now. Now we have a chance to show them what it means to empathize, care for others, and protect everyone in our community. It means speaking louder when we hear someone say something racist or anti-LGBTQ. This means wearing a mask and practicing social distancing, no matter how tired we are.
Everything is tough now. It’s Complicated. But now, more than ever, we have the opportunity to practice what we have preached all these years. Our children are watching us very closely. What do they see?