How to Make Frozen Pizza Less Sad

I’m not afraid to eat anything frozen, much less frozen pizza, but I can’t help but make a change. Even for the best frozen pizza, you can add a few tweaks or finishing touches. (This is not the case for Totino’s Party Pizza, which is unique in itself, some would say “perfect”.)

Drizzle with honey, honey

I love honey in a savory setting, especially if it’s spicy or with fermented garlic . A healthy drizzle of sticky sweet mass helps to soften any aggressive salinity of commercially produced cured meats, and is also great for the last bite of a thin crisp.

Use pickled vegetables

Olives, artichoke hearts, pickled mushrooms, and even sun-dried tomatoes work very well in this context. Flavored oils from vegetables flows in the pizza crust soaking and soaking the cake taste. For best results, add pickled vegetables to your pizza as soon as the cheese begins to melt, but before browning, so they are all warm and juicy. If you are feeling more energetic, you can stuff the olives with cheese and fry them before sprinkling them on the pizza, right after you take them out of the oven. (This is a power move.)

Use herbs

A small amount of fresh basil ribbons or some oregano leaves will take away the softness and help distract from any sub-optimal aromas of the frozen pizza, as well as give the pizza a nice look. You can also toast some rosemary if you like, although even I have to admit this is a lot of extra work for frozen pizza.

Wrap it up in cold cuts

Putting thin cold slices of prosciutto or mortadella on a hot pizza is not only amazing – the heat from the pie warms up the meats, but also protects your mouth from the horrible pizza burn. (Regular ham works too.)

Make a salad on top of it

When I was young, I really enjoyed having dinner at a small place called the California Pizzeria. One of my favorite “dishes” was a thin crust pizza with a spicy pile of greens on top. I felt a little virtuous because I was eating salad and the combination of sour vinaigrette and salted pork was divine. At home, I prefer to keep the salad simple – a mixture of baby greens or arugula with vinaigrette and maybe Parmesan – and then pour it over the pizza just taken out of the oven (so the greens wither a little).

Finally, add the chili oil.

It seems like the whole internet is obsessed with chili oil right now, which makes sense because it’s a heck of a rule. I went about two-thirds of the way through the can of this stuff because it is excellent in every way. It enhances everything it touches with its slightly tingling, harsh magic, and frozen pizza practically begs for it. If you’re feeling a little naughty, try mixing it with some ranch dressing for an incredibly good crust. (Just don’t tell the New Yorkers or anyone in Connecticut; they don’t have a whimsy when it comes to pizza, even frozen.)


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