It’s Time to Embrace Guilty Pleasures
If you’ve spent your days in quarantine hanging out with friends and family through Animal Crossing or drinking each season of your favorite show, you’re not alone. Returning to simple pleasures seems like a natural response to the stress we all experience and, according to new research , these so-called “pleasures of guilt” can help us feel more connected during this period of unprecedented isolation.
Although the study, published in the journal Self and Identity , was conducted before the coronavirus outbreak, the results are more relevant than ever. At a time when most of us are isolated in some way – either because we live alone or only locked up with our partners, family, or company roommates – we may crave a multitude of social connections with those outside of ours. the immediate environment. which we are used to taking for granted. There are Zoom happy hours and FaceTime checks, of course, but they take time and effort and can be an unsatisfactory substitute for the real thing. This is why this study, which looks at unconventional social strategies, is so relevant and useful.
Traditional and non-traditional social strategies
Dr. Shira Gabriel , professor of psychology at the University of Buffalo and one of the co-authors of the article, has been studying unconventional social strategies for over a decade – everything from preparing convenient meals to reading pulp fiction and playing videos. games set in virtual reality, where everyone is a different animal. While some of these activities may be termed “pleasures of guilt,” Gabriel said that we should not feel guilty about participating in them – even (or perhaps especially) now. “I don’t think people are realizing that these unconventional connections are as beneficial as we found [they] in our research,” she said in a post from the University of Buffalo . “Don’t feel guilty because we found these strategies to be good if they work for you.”
While there have been many studies on the importance of traditional social strategies, such as interpersonal relationships or group membership (thought choirs, community sports teams, and craft groups), this is the first study to simultaneously test the relative effectiveness of both traditional and non-traditional methods. social strategies.
“People can feel connected by all means. We have found that more traditional strategies, such as face-to-face with a friend, do not necessarily work better for people than non-traditional strategies such as listening to your favorite musician, ”said Elaine Paravati, a University of Buffalo alumnus and co-author. newspapers, the report said . “In fact, using a combination of both of these types of strategies predicted the best results, so it can be especially beneficial to have a variety of things in your life that will help you feel connected to others.”
Redefining what it means to be social
When we think of a “social” person, someone probably comes to mind, outgoing, adventurous, and constantly hanging out with friends. But this is not necessarily the case: “We live in a society where people are asked if they are in a romantic relationship, if they decide not to have children, or if they don’t like going to parties,” Gabriel said. “There are implicit reports that these people are doing something wrong. It could hurt them. The message that we want to get across to the people and which our data shows is that it’s not true. ”
According to Gabriel, unconventional social connections – sometimes referred to as “social surrogates” – are generally considered less valuable than communicating with someone in person. Her research shows that this is not the case. “Nothing [showed us] that people using unconventional strategies were lonelier or less happy, less socially skilled, or less satisfied,” she explained. “These are not substitutes for real social connections; these are real ways to feel connected, which are very important to people. “
The authors note that the key to feeling connected is knowing that you are fulfilling your need for belonging. And if you can do it right now by playing Animal Crossing or watching the 15 Too Hot to Handle episodes, you have more options.