How to Please a Cat
I envy the dog people. You can meet a dog simply by walking up to it on the street. The typical dog trusts you immediately. But the average cat needs to be conquered . I spoke with three cat behavior experts who explained why cats are like this and looked at strategies for making friends with someone else’s cat, even in one sitting.
Treat it like a wild animal
Why are cats, even those who knew only people as kind and friendly, so restrained? I knew they didn’t have all selective breeding of dogs. But I didn’t realize the scale of the difference until I spoke to research writer Tom McNamie, author of The Inner Life of Cats .
According to him, people have been breeding dogs for 100,000 years. Cats have lived with humans for only 5,000 years, ever since the wild cats of North Africa began to roam like rats. And until the last two centuries, “they hung around in barns,” says McNamie, “without any selective breeding that would transform wolves into hundreds of specialized dog breeds. We’ve only kept domestic cats in our home for the last couple of centuries. So they are not very different from each other or from their wild ancestor. “You can steal a kitten from North African feral cats,” he says, “and they make a pretty decent cat.” And since cats are mostly still wild, they should not be trained, at least not like dogs.
“Cats are not dogs,” says Jackson Galaxy, author of Total Cat Mojo and host of Animal Planet’s ” My Cat From Hell” . “I know it sounds offensive, but we always look at cats through dog-colored glasses by default. We must provide cats with the same dignity as humans. ” This means that the introduction process will be much slower, and the cat will still be programmed to be a self-sufficient hunter.
The cat begins to pick up signals as soon as you enter the house. “He can smell other animals on you, even the dogs you passed by recently,” says feline behaviorist Michelle Nagelschneider, author of Whisper of Cats . Therefore, if you know that you are about to meet a cat, try not to show that other animals stink.
If you really go for broke, you can spray your shoes with a pheromone like Comfort Zone or Feliway . They are usually sold as a spray or spray to discourage territorial behavior, but they do so by calming the cat rather than annoying it.
“Once inside the house, try not to block any intended exits,” Galaxy says. Cats are territorial and alert, so they “strategically look at the whole room.” You are trying to classify yourself as an ally, not a threat. This should determine all of your behavior with the cat.
Act like a cat hater
Allergy sufferers and disgruntled cat lovers agree: it seems like cats are always heading for the person who doesn’t want their company. It makes sense, McNamy says, because all the usual movements that cat lovers make, like walking towards a cat while making kissing sounds, are counterproductive. Here’s how to avoid looking like a threat:
Don’t look your cat in the eye. And don’t come straight to it. Wait for the cat to come up to you while you look at the floor.
Don’t tower over the cat. Lower your shoulders, place your hands on your knees, or sit on the floor. “Let the master sit with you,” says McNamie. “The cat understands that you are an ally.”
Keep quiet. Speak very softly. Keep away from noisy children and dogs.
Don’t reach out to him. Once the cat has become accustomed to your presence, you will want to gently offer it to sniff with your finger, but this should be done discreetly. Do not show or reach out with your palm. Galaxy recommends a move he calls “Michelangelo,” where you swing your hand with your finger out. “Your fingertip is like a cat’s nose,” says Galaxy. “And you can bring your nose to theirs.” See how he demonstrates the move:
Do not hurry. Galaxy says that a cat will show you confidence by walking through the middle of the room or rubbing against you. Take your time to get your pet. “You don’t want to slap them on the sides or bang on the top of their heads,” McNamie says. Find the cheeks and behind the ear – the glandular spots where the mother licks the kittens.
Even when the cat rubs against you, “it’s not necessarily an invitation to pet her,” says Nagelschneider. Getting there too early can break your cat’s confidence.
Do not give up. “If the cat runs away, you haven’t lost the game, but you have lost the round,” McNamy says. The Galaxy adds, “In my show, you will see that my first encounter with these cats seemed to go horribly. I can always make them forgive me. “
Activate hunter mode
Nagelschneider suggests a more proactive method: play with the cat using a magic wand or a laser pointer. “It’s a proactive strategy to take that fear out of the equation,” she says. “It helps them feel confident and relaxed around you.” You want a confident cat, and not just because it’s the cutest cat you can imagine. A confident cat is not so afraid. You can fool their cat brains.
The stick toy allows the cat to maintain its distance while interacting with you, especially if you place it behind couches or other places to make the prey more realistic. “One little trick is to run what’s called their ‘search chain,’” says Nagelschneider.
Galaxy is skeptical about this approach: “Confidence comes only on their terms. It is impossible to ignore what their ancestors tell them to do. ” You can try the game method after you establish trust. It doesn’t instantly captivate all cats, but I definitely got more love from my friend’s cat after I applied a laser pointer to it.
You can also go for direct bribery. Place the treat on the floor “maybe three feet away,” McNamie says. Then leave the treats closer and closer. Galaxy suggests dropping treats such as “pennies from heaven”, again avoiding direct contact that might be too confrontational.
Feeding your cat her regular food is another great opportunity, McNamy said. “Put the food in its usual place, and then sit next to it.”
Make your cat friendly to visitors
There is so much you can do to win a new cat. But if you’re a cat owner, there is a lot you can do to help your cats get along better with visitors.
Galaxy says the treat works best if the cat only gets it on special occasions: “There is nothing wrong with bribery.” In fact, he believes that bribery should be more important for the provision of treats. “I’m not a fan of just giving away treats for free. Food is all we have. They don’t care about making us happy. It’s just not part of their wires like the dogs are. ” He suggests that one jackpot treat be reserved for giving away to guests only. Ideally, a guest’s visit should be like Santa’s.
As an owner, you can protect your cats and give visitors all of the above tips. “We’re not comfortable telling people what to do or what not to do,” Galaxy says, but “it’s okay if you are protecting your cat in that regard.” Do not scare your friend – if he is alarmed, the cat will read this and also worry. You want to help them figure out what your cat likes. In her book, The Galaxy even recommends guests to ignore the cat on their first visit and wait for subsequent visits to build trust.
Raise a friendlier cat
“Fear is always in the cat,” says McNamie. “It’s very easy to scare them. So, if you can arrange their life so that they are not intimidated, it will make life much easier. ”This includes taking care of their litter box, their feeding habits and more, which is explored in all three books by these experts.
A cat has a lot to do in childhood. “There is a certain way of raising kittens that will give you a friendlier domestic cat,” McNamie says. An underrated study in his book shows that kittens that are picked up as early as one or two weeks old (instead of the standard seven weeks) are better socialized as adults. He also recommends that cats stay with their mother for the first 12-16 weeks rather than picking them up after seven. With the exception of friendly breeding of cats – which McNamy believes would rob them of their attractive wildness – a well-socialized kitten is the best way to raise a friendly cat. After that, the cat lover has a lot more work to do.
This story was originally published in 2018 and has been updated with new information on 02/19/2020.