If You Have Questions About Teens, They’ll Answer Them on Reddit.
The teenage years are widely known as the fearful years for many parents. After all, teenagers are moody. The adolescents were seized. It’s frustrating for teenagers that we just don’t know what they’re going through. Not to mention the inconsistency between how we vaguely remember how we dealt with our parents in adolescence without being fully able to access the memory of how all this social pressure and academic stress, mixed with hormonal surge, made us feel.
It’s been decades since we ourselves were teenagers, and it’s all too easy to look back at those years through the lens of an adult perspective. But we may have forgotten one thing: teenagers want to be understood. That’s why this thread on Reddit, which started with a question from user u / TheEpicRock3099, “Parents of Reddit, what don’t you understand about us teenagers?” – this is the best and most serious of what I have read lately. This is damn instructive.
I’m going to highlight a few of my favorite questions and answers, and then you should head over to Reddit and read a bunch more.
Why be cool with your parents?
Question from u / DDodgeSilver:
I feel the need to be “cool”, I was also a teenager once. But why continue this action when only you and your parents? I did that too … I just don’t know why.
Edit: I’m asking because now that I’m in my 40s, I can spend time with my dad and he can be himself and I can be myself and no one is trying to be “cool.” It could always be this way, but I was too busy trying to impress my parents with my deep spiritual connection with Cypress Hill.
Reply from u / Landeg:
Sincerity is vulnerable, and teens already feel vulnerable.
Also, if you give up the act around your parents, you acknowledge that it is an act. Some children are comfortable with this because they are consciously or otherwise aware of social camouflage and code switching. Other children, especially children who may be struggling in society or trying to “open up” themselves, will resist the idea that their more popular, more loved self is just an “act” and will feel pressured to support it for 24 hours. a day, 7 days a week. because they believe that all other “cool” children are also the same by nature.
If children are still trying to act aloof / “cool” with people like their parents, this could be a sign that they are insecure about their social skills and / or are experiencing social anxiety.
Also, depending on age, children try on personalities, for example, try on pants. I remember going through some forced personality traits trying to “open up” myself as a teenager. Their parents may seem like a “safe” crash test target for their new, nervous personality, even if it sucks for the parents.
Reply from u / homesickalienz:
Because when you’re cool with your friends, you feel great. People comment on your clothes or your perceived popularity. And you want your parents to treat you the same way your friends do.
Why aren’t you taking a shower?
Question from u / silverspork:
Why should I bother you about showering more than once a week? Do you want to be a smelly kid? This is how you become a smelly kid.
Reply from u / italyphoenix:
(I am now a teenager and this may only speak for me, but some of my friends share the same opinion) Usually, when I do not shower / take a bath for a long time, it is due to my mental health. If I’m just emotionally and mentally drained, then the shower is not on my list simply because it either seems like just too hard work, or it just completely eludes me. Maybe talk to your child and make sure he is not taking on too much of the load?
(I also say this as a girl, so if it’s a boy, maybe he’s just a boy and he doesn’t quite understand that his body has changed to create a stench and just doesn’t know it?)
Reply from u / AIDANboi321:
We would love to take a shower, we will do it tomorrow.
What weighs on you the most?
Question from u / RoveCove:
When I was growing up in the 80s, there were drugs and I thought my kids couldn’t get away with it because I know what was in there. Then, over the decades, party drugs have changed and now I have no idea what my kids are up to. What are they fighting with?
What social pressures do children face today?
Reply from u / _BippityBoppity_:
At 16, I will try to answer you as best I can:
The types of drugs / random shit I’ve heard of are JUUL (electronic cigarette), crack (cocaine), LSD, beer, heroin, and weed (marijuana). Obviously I’ll be missing a lot of other things, but I don’t get involved in these things, so I don’t know.
Social Pressure: Popularity, Appearance, Grades, Reputation with Teachers and Parents, and Social Media -> Do not restrict their use on social media, HOWEVER, if it affects their mental health, then step in and do something to help with this as they are either unaware or afraid to ask for help
Reply from u / Acceptable_AITA:
Believe it or not, it’s actually pressure from sex, some drugs, and sometimes just doing stupid things online.
Reply from u / important_infamous:
More drugs.
Yet?
Question from u / I_Heart_Squids:
How are you doing?
Answer from u / Jakepopss:
Yet refers to when someone drops an object at great speed, basically you throw something, and if you shout yes, it flies farther.
Kobe for accuracy, Yet for distance.
Why are you shutting me down?
Question from u / grezzymechh:
I am listening, I am here for you, and I advise you to go the same way that you are going now. I just need a little help on the details. Don’t shut me up.
Answer from u / Natasha Janifil:
About shutting you down …
Therefore, when I tell you about my problems, I understand that you are experiencing much more difficult and on a different level. Then I feel like my problems are stupid. Show us that it’s not stupid, it’s okay by telling us about your imperfect childhood / life.
About when I don’t close you … (Sorry, this section is longer than the last one. I think my problem is what happens after posting.)
Also, what works for you doesn’t work for me. For example, my mom was very sociable, and I was not. I am very shy. Thus, the way she can approach people and sort things out between friends does not suit me. But now I understand that you can give me advice that works for me too.
Sometimes I just want you to listen, not judge, give advice. I know how to deal with this. I just want to get out.
In hindsight, I think it is very difficult for you guys to know when you need to give advice or not, but I think we are all learning. Teens and parents.
Reply from u / ZeeDrakon:
Many are frustrated that parents think they went the same way when they didn’t.
The differences in my experience compared to my brothers and sisters who are 6-8 years younger than me are so great that I cannot assume that I know what they are going through, and this difference is only greater for parents, but parents tend to assume that they know not only our experience, but also the best solutions.
Why do you keep knocking on doorframes?
Question from u / just_be_respectful:
I’m a teacher, and I always have one question: why do you feel the need to knock out every doorframe you drive past?
Reply from u / Oroshi3965:
Now we’re taller and it’s a little fun and we can do it with ease.
Parents of Reddit, what don’t you understand about us teenagers? | Reddit