How to Support Families With Children in the Hospital During the Holidays
You are awaiting a hospital visit – for example, a planned operation. And then there are visits you might not expect, such as when you urgently need to get a baby born with a congenital heart defect to the emergency room a few days before Christmas.
Carly McClure’s daughter, Joanna, spent last Christmas in the hospital. She will also be in the hospital this Christmas. In fact, McClure says, she has taken all major vacations at the hospital since she was born 17 months ago. But last year’s unexpected stay was one of the most difficult.
“This recognition was very difficult for us, because we did not expect it,” says McClure. “And I just didn’t get the chance to think about Christmas.”
Fortunately, people surrounded her. Thanks to the efforts of the staff at the Children’s National Hospital in Washington, DC , where Joanna was staying, and their friends and family, Christmas still managed to arrive. Gifts have been delivered. A light was turned on in the room. They brought food. We drank cookies.
“They brought us hope,” says McClure.
Families with children who endure long or frequent hospital stays always need support, but especially during the holidays and especially if, like the McClure, they have other children to take care of. Here are some ways to help parents of hospitalized children this holiday season:
Carry out your holiday errands
A family in the midst of a medical crisis will likely significantly cut back on the number of holiday ancillary services they perform, but they likely have at least a few things to do. At the last minute, they go to the post office to ship the package, the ingredients for the sugar cookies they make every year, the wrapping paper and gift tags they haven’t had a chance to buy yet. Ask them if you can do something with their decorating, baking, and running around so they can stay where they need them most – with their child.
Wrap your gifts
If you’ve just dropped a couple of rolls of brown paper, take a moment to wrap up their presents. This is the last thing any physically and emotionally exhausted parent wants to do. Getting rid of this chore means they can spend this time taking a nap or shower between hospital visits.
Leave food at home and in the hospital
If the parents have other children, they probably divide their time between home and the hospital. Parents and children at home need food, and a parent in the hospital needs food. McClure says last year she didn’t eat for a week until one organization donated a large holiday dinner for patients and their families at the hospital. And now, a friend regularly leaves food for her to keep in the hospital’s “family refrigerator” so that she can have a light lunch option several times a week.
Create magic
Bring holiday lights to hang around your hospital room. Throw in some new books. Place the cookies and carrots on a plate to place in the room (or at the nurse’s station, depending on the rules) for Santa and the reindeer. Send your parents a playlist of holiday music to listen to throughout the day. Find small touches that can bring a festive mood to the hospital room and make it safe for sick or recovering children.
Register, but give a little space
We often spend this time of the year with loved ones. But it’s also cold and flu season. Therefore, it can be dangerous for parents of children with weakened immune systems to risk getting sick themselves. At the moment, McClure says she needs to limit contact with three other children, ages 7, 5 and 3, so as not to get sick. It also means that Joanna cannot receive visitors.
“It’s hard to get someone to come and try to sit with me,” McClure says. “And I don’t have time to be away from Joanna because she’s so critical, so (the presence of visitors) is sometimes tiring.”
Instead, McClure says, the regular checks on the text messages she receives from friends are her lifeline for the outside world.
“It’s important because it’s very isolated here,” she says. “The messages remind me that I am not alone in the wider scheme of things and that we will eventually go home and resume life.”