This Thanksgiving, Stop Dishonoring Food

Whatever your relationship with food is, it’s likely to intensify by Thanksgiving. If you are on a particular diet, you need to decide whether to continue or say, “Fuck it and take a day off to pamper yourself.” If your family’s eating habits annoy you, what fun! You will watch them cook and eat all day. I’m going to suggest something radical: let’s just make a truce about this.

So don’t say you are “bad” when you take the third piece of the pie. Keep any mention of calories off the table – it’s just between you and MyFitnessPal.

But you know what else? If anyone else has eating habits other than yours, leave them alone. Does your cousin bring cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes? Great, they brought food they want to eat, like the rest of us. If this bothers you, you might need to bring the potatoes with you. (Pro tip: Always volunteer to bring what you like best.)

I humbly recommend the following daily guidelines. If you want to discuss how to get everyone to work with them, that’s up to you. But they should work great as your personal code of ethics, and everyone who follows it will make food a little better for everyone else. Here it is:

  • Indulge yourself if you like.
  • Eat healthy foods if you like.
  • Feel free to mix the above two as you wish.
  • Do not comment on other people’s food choices.
  • And, as always, never comment on someone else’s body.

By the way, this also applies to children. (“You’ve been a foot taller since I last saw you!” Is the only exception to the last rule.) They have 364 more days to eat their vegetables. Don’t force them to eat more. Don’t talk to them about your food worries. Just let them eat their damn buns in peace, like everyone else.


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