Do You Treat Rejection Like an Asshole?
Every now and then, some asshole (and sometimes an asshole) gets rejected online by romantic prospects, goes crazy over the text, and then goes viral after his victim posts the conversation online. It’s a good reminder that this shit happens all the time, mostly to women, because some people never really learned to accept rejection like adults. The same thing happens with the editor of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency .
Editor Chris Monks has to gently reject hundreds of applications every week, and some writers respond … badly. In a recent article on Vulture, Monks share some of the worst reviews . These harsh answers are great read. They also make it very clear why you should always be polite about rejection. Here are four reasons, in ascending order of selfishness.
You talk to a man
In 99% of cases, even the most ordinary letter in the form of a letter is read at some point by a person with feelings. That’s the whole reason you shouldn’t be a jerk!
“I sympathize with the disappointment that your work hasn’t been published,” Monks says under a screen shot of a disclaimer that simply reads, “I hate you.” “But getting emails like this still sucks because, you know, I have feelings.”
But even if you don’t care about behaving decently towards people, there are more cynical reasons not to lash out at people.
You burn the bridge
Many of the material rejected by the Monks was clearly not suitable for the site. While he edits the names of the writers in his article, he leaves the subject lines unedited, including: WE ALL KNOW THE STORY OF SOMEONE IN OUR HIGH SCHOOL WHO CAN PUMP PEANUT BUTTER ON THEIR BUCKET AND THE DOG LIKE IT “. Yes, someone presented this idea to McSweeney and was offended when it was rejected.
But some of the presentations were almost site-appropriate, so Monks replied something like, “Keep us going!” This was not enough for some of the senders who were still writing insults to the site who dared to reject their article.
And now, of course, these people will never be able to get into McSweeney’s again. Before answering, they could try a new serve on the same day. Now that they were unhappy with the polite rejection, they could write the next Ornamental Pumpkin Season and McSweeney’s (probably!) Wouldn’t accept it. Because now Monks knows that with these writers there will be a huge pain in the ass, and no humor is worth the effort.
You cannot get revenge
Suppose you are writing humorous material and McSweeney’s rejects it for horrible, dire reasons, such as being bribed by an evil politician to reject it, or thinking you are ugly. If you knew that your work was great and that McSweeney had only good reason to reject it, you could publish it elsewhere. You could watch him gain acceptance all over the internet. And then you can send them an email saying, “Big mistake! Big! Huge!”
You know, like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman . This is what she does after putting on trendy clothes and looking chic, and the salespeople who fired her yesterday are striking to serve her today. No sooner than! You never give up a fit until you’ve proven another schmuck wrong. And even then, you do it short, firm, but calm, and go out with all your shopping bags.
You will be bullied
Last and most selfish: when you lash out, you buy a ticket to the internet fame lottery. As Twitter user maplecocaine once said, “There is one main character on Twitter every day. The goal is that it never happens. ” If you don’t want to be the most hated person on the Internet for a day or a year, if you don’t want everyone to point out and laugh at your pathetic accomplishments, if you don’t want proof that you deserve to be rejected, then don’t. I will buy this lottery ticket.
Monks has kindly covered up the names of all the assholes who insulted him via email. Some deserve it: they clearly thought they were joking, they were joking in good faith, although if they really thought about it, they would know that their answers are “I hate you.” and “Pussy!” were unfunny at best.
But some of these assholes really deserve to be named, and if Monks decided to give them names, most readers would be delighted – and perhaps send these people nasty emails. And sometimes it happens – someone is called by name, and their sacrifice allows the rest of the Internet to do justice.
You should never hit submit on a text, email, or message without thinking: if another person posted it publicly, would I look like a nice guy? And if you are feeling resentful or rejected, you should close the draft and spend the whole day contemplating this question. The face you save can be your own.