Use Your Kids to Get Your Way
It is very important to strategize about what you are saying to your partner in front of the children. And most of this strategy involves things that you are not talking about. Around the time we realize that our children are really starting to understand our words, we have to (mostly) curb the curses, we have to really think about how our choice of words will make them feel, and we learn very quickly not to understand ponder out loud everything that they would like to do, but we are not fully committed to it yet.
Like, “Hmmm, maybe today will be a good day to go to the zoo? No, you know it will probably be too crowded. They didn’t even think about the zoo until you came, and now you’ve ruined their day.
But if you have never thought to use what you say in front of them for personal gain, then you need to work. Because if your interests align with theirs, your partner has no chance.
Broad queries
If you want to get out of the house for a few hours, you can say, “We all need to go and do something fun together.” If your partner is not a game, he is boring, and you are a beloved parent. It can be tricky, however, because your idea of fun (the Greek festival this weekend) and their idea of fun (Chuck E. Cheese) don’t always coincide. So it’s probably best to try:
Specific requests
Want ice cream but feel lazy? I bet your kids too! “Wouldn’t it be so nice if dad / mom went and got us some ice cream?” Look, they can also buy themselves ice cream while they’re there, so this isn’t the worst thing you’ll ever do with them. But you can also make him friendlier – a well-put phrase “I’ll try pizza today …” in front of the kids pretty much ensures you don’t have to cook tonight.
Of course, this trick is most viciously preserved and used to …
Big requests
If you do, you are totally committed to hacking and may actually border on evil, but hey, that’s why we’re all here this week. Proceed at your own risk, for example:
“We have to go on a Disney cruise next summer!”