When People Ask You Too Personal Questions, Just Lie.

Appear in public with a belly that looks like a pregnant woman and suddenly everyone asks, “When is your due date?” and “Do you know what you have?” as if the contents of your uterus are somehow their business. You will likely feel pressured to answer politely, but there is another option: lie.

You can prepare your lies ahead of time, or let the moment inspire you. You can be rude or slightly uncomfortable. Every option is on the table, because it’s serious: strangers can just fuck off. (You can also lie to friends and family, but this is a more delicate situation.)

For example, here’s what Anne Hathaway says when asked about baby names:

“They say, ‘Do you know the name? “And off we go: Africa,” Hathaway said with a big smile, pronouncing the first syllable with a loud “A-ah.”

“And you make really intense, sincere eye contact, without turning away or blinking,” she continued. “And you have to watch them just wriggle.”

For a simpler lie, you can dodge the gender issue by saying, “No, we won’t find out,” even if you already know. Set a deadline, and for the fun of it, it might turn out to be surprisingly near or far in the future.

Or the best of all, which I never had the guts to use, but I would like to do it: just say “Huh? I’m not pregnant.”


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