Everybody Hates You When You’re Selfish in a Crowd

Reddit needs to know that this is jerk week. The main post on r / AskReddit last night asked, “What can we all agree on to be a fucking move?” The most popular responses, agreed upon by thousands of Reddit users, shared the theme: the most universal move of a member is to be selfish in a crowd. Especially being selfish in a crowd that is trying to get things done . For instance:

  • Cut to line
  • Pushing the door out of the plane
  • Takes up multiple spots when you fit well into one
  • Get on the train before others can get off
  • Cutting off people in traffic
  • Garbage
  • Tailgating
  • Playing sound or music aloud in public
  • Stealing a parking space
  • Parking and traffic blocking

The redditors agreed they hated this shit. They love when they see someone screaming. They like petty revenge. If you do this shit, you might have problems with a lot of strangers.

The point is that everyone did one of these things, even if by accident. It doesn’t make you a bad person (there are many other things that make you a bad person). But this means two things:

First, think carefully before doing anything that might seem ridiculous. Slow down a little. Partly to be nice, and partly to keep a bunch of strangers from getting sick, embarrassing, or arguing with you.

Second, if you have a good reason to do bullshit, please explain it very briefly and apologize. Actually sorry for the mistake. Because when everyone is just trying to get somewhere on time, everyone is agitated and annoyed. And by being good – better than you feel – you can disarm them all.

I lied, there are three things. Third: in most cases, your good reason is not enough . If your “good reason” applies to many people around you, and they don’t take the same selfish step, then accept it. “I’m late” is usually not a good reason, because you are never the only one who is late.

Selfishness is a refusal to admit that other people are totally human and you are just human . And this is a failure of the imagination shared by sociopaths and toddlers. So the next time you find yourself in a crowd, especially a crowd on the move, don’t act like you’re special. Don’t act like you’re the most important person. The odds are against you.

Heck it was pretty tough, let’s all listen to a good slacker song written by someone who really knows.


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