How to Stop Screaming so Much

This advice is only for you, not for me, because I never raise my voice to my precious child, but what kind of person does that?

Okay, I scream, I screamed, screamed about some things. And despite the fact that I know better, and in fact it does not work (children, oddly enough, do not move faster in the morning just because you shouted that they should move faster in the morning), my voice still sometimes can be loud. It seems that the desire to be more patient and actually become more patient does not automatically go hand in hand.

Amanda Ruther, mental health consultant and founder of Messy Motherhood , told the Power in Words podcast that she decided to try new tactics to contain her own screams. She posted physical reminders – things she could see and touch – throughout the house to remind her of her call to stop yelling at her children:

At that time, my son’s favorite color was yellow, so I cut the yellow hearts out of thick paper and pasted them in hot spots all over the house; on his bedroom door to help me before bed, on my kitchen fridge during dinner … on the rearview mirror in my car. Places that I can bump into during the day.

She used these hearts as a reminder to stay calm and as a means to contain her anger. Every time she encountered one, she did a quick internal check on her mood to determine if her anger was building up, and it was time to implement a calming strategy (she has a list of 50 “ calming tips ” you can ask for from her website).

I think the heart is an especially enjoyable choice, but the reminders you posted could be anything that grabs your attention and makes you wonder if interacting with your kids is getting stressful – stop signs, characters from their favorite show, or soothing mantra stickers.

As a bonus, this is a positive example for our children as they learn to manage their strong emotions – it’s never too late to try to do better.


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