How to Start a Package of Services for Your Children
I’m so close to being to allow Mayson himself to walk our dog around the block. One of these days, in the not too distant future, I will let him wait in the car, and I will run to the store for a loaf of bread. This summer he will probably be allowed to get on his bike before the turn. I gradually push him towards independence in the open air, but I still want more for him. I want him to wander, but I also don’t want him to be too far away from him, all alone.
Writer Patrick A. Coleman has come up with an old-fashioned solution for parents who want their kids to walk a little freer: a throwback to our own childhood era when we explored it with our neighbors’ friends. He founded an open roaming group for his sons and their friends.
The average American child today spends 5 to 6 hours a day in front of a screen, up from 3 hours in 1995. And 50 percent of children in the United States don’t even get a single supervised play session a day. Children who play unstructured play spend an average of 4 to 7 minutes outdoors.
What does the loss of free time mean for children? They lose the opportunity to express their imagination in independent play. Loss of the opportunity to turn the forest into a fantasy land. Losing the opportunity to learn important negotiation skills so you don’t get big kids over your ass. And I want all of this – at least on some level – for my kids. So what’s daddy to do?
Short answer: create a gang.
(Coleman calls his group “the gang,” but we’re going to be “the pack.” That sounds like a wilder animal to us.)
Find like-minded people
The first step in creating a neighborhood group is to identify the parents who are most likely to be on board while roaming slightly. Not to mention “free-range” versus “helicopter parenting,” you probably already know which parents in your social circle are likely to be, “oh, that sounds cool!” and who will look at you with horror when offered. Children who are already playing outside unattended or who are allowed to ride their bicycles down the street are great candidates for your pack.
Discuss everyone’s comfort level – how much freedom is too much freedom? – and agree with some general pack rules.
Set clear physical parameters
You don’t want to go straight from “not allowed to cross the street yourself” to “having fun exploring the city.” Set clear physical boundaries for them to roam within. It is helpful to use landmarks that anyone can identify; do not walk past a school or soccer field, for example.
If you are not sure if they understand the boundaries, physically walk with them through the territory. And remember, you can start small, for example, just go to the park and back, or as part of ” Dinner is ready !” screaming distance. You can expand their boundaries over time as the children build trust and everyone becomes more comfortable.
Give it a limit
At the very least, they shouldn’t be out of reach all day. not at first. Select one (or all) of them to put on the watch and set the time to return to one of the houses to check in. This parent can send an update message to the others upon return. If you want to be a little more flexible, send them in the morning and tell them to come back when they get hungry for lunch. (If they’re not back by 1:00 pm, you’ll know it’s time to go and find them.)
If you don’t want to set a specific time limit for them, but want to be able to contact them if necessary, it might be worth considering getting a cheap mobile phone that they only use for this purpose.
Recruit and grow your flock
When your flock is successful – the kids do return home every day and with minor injuries – other parents who previously hesitated may start coming up with this idea.
Your package should be open and welcome new members with the understanding that if it continues, everyone will take care of everyone and no child will be left behind.