SNL’s Trendy Coward Is Actually Full of Hacker Hacker Attacks

Since there was no one nearby to dissuade me, I stopped by Anthropologie last week. I have never found clothes there that fit me, but I have a lot of weddings this summer, and anyway, it’s right across the street from our office.

I got in and out in less than 10 minutes, but not before I was brutally bullied by at least half a dozen different dresses, all of which seemed chic and well thought out in passing, but when you took them off the hanger, they were covered in large decorative buttons, casual bows, casual ruffles, or a combination of just three. After a week, I’m still mad at it.

Anthropologie is a blatant criminal, but he poses a bigger problem: it is almost impossible to find women’s clothing that has not been tainted for no reason due to annoying falsification that no one asked for. Although the line was focused specifically on the clothes of large sizes, there is a reason for which Shrill note that the majority of women’s clothing is “some nonsense, covered with stamps Eiffel Tower”, found an echo in the Internet. There’s also a reason why, for all its problematic nonsense, American Apparel was as successful as it was. People want clothes that won’t look crazy next season, when whatever silly sleeve stuff is happening right now … isn’t happening anymore.

Making your way through the endless racks filled with rubbish takes ruthlessness and efficiency. So when our deputy editor Alice DM called me “Fashion Coward” from last week’s SNL episode (“I felt like I saw. And attacked. Both”), I was very angry that this store was doesn’t really exist.

I also strongly supported the trading strategies at work here. If you spend more than 30 seconds deciding if you want something, that means you should give it up immediately. Ask yourself, “Am I this person?” When trying on something that doesn’t quite suit you, you should immediately set the garment on fire.

Your ideal piece of clothing doesn’t have to be a gray hooded sweatshirt, but if you don’t immediately fall in love with something and feel confident about something (or if it’s not the size that your body actually is), from it should be discarded immediately. so that you will not be seen again. And if otherwise it looks good but has a weird little tie on the sleeves at the bottom (why? It’s so easy to do it yourself if you want to), you don’t have to talk yourself into why it “mostly” works for you. Being a fashionable coward will save you endless wasted hours – and hundreds, if not thousands of wasted dollars – on clothes you never really liked. It will also drain the market for “big, silly-looking buttons and bows,” and the sooner that happens, the sooner I can shop without feeling like I’m going crazy.

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