How to Survive the Final Season of Game of Thrones If You’re Not a Fan
By my reckoning (i.e. a quick Google search), I see that Game of Thrones Season 8 will premiere Sunday night. This, as almost everyone knows, is mercifully approaching its FINAL season.
I am not a GoT fan, I am a wife / daughter / sister / friend of a huge legion of dedicated GoT eras. I managed to survive the first seven seasons, but I’m afraid that the last season could turn out to be my death. I came to this conclusion a few days ago when I received a text with a picture from my brother:
Guys … Game of Thrones is just … Oreo. Do you know it’s right ?? Or has all this violence and ridiculously large number of characters finally taken its toll?
I tried to love GoT. Twice. On two separate occasions, I succumbed to peer pressure and sat down with my husband to watch the first two episodes of the first season. After the 57th time I asked: “Wait … who is this again, and how does she know him, and where are they going, and what the hell are the Dothraki ?” we both had to admit that the show just wasn’t for me.
Unfortunately, it seems to be the center of the universe to pretty much everyone else, judging by my social media posts. If you’re like me (… is there anyone out there? …), you need to find a way to relive the next season of non-stop GoT hell.
Find comfort in a short season
Yes, friends, winter is approaching , but apparently the marmot did not see its shadow, because this year spring also comes early! The final season episodes are longer but shorter in number, which is a win for fans and non-fans alike. I only need to flip through social media feeds on GoT for 6 weeks and it seems manageable.
Pretend you are a fan
I found this guide ” What to say about Game of Thrones if you’ve never seen Game of Thrones,” written by someone who has never actually seen Game of Thrones, and I will use it whenever possible.
I’ll start by adding a few “Cersei is so cool” comments to the conversation as soon as I figure out how to pronounce “Cersei”. She / he was probably in the episodes I saw, but to be honest, it’s all blurry.
Drink to your own business
The other day I saw the first episode of ” Russian Doll” and thought: “They should be reserved for a special occasion.” This occasion has come. When my husband goes to (* quickly google “where is GoT going” *) Westeros , I will watch poor Nadia go through the same day over and over again. If you are not a GoT fan and have been holding back from anything else, now is the time.
Be patient be kind
Remember that your loved one is usually not an abnormal abusive addict. No, no, it’s just a good story. Soon this will all be over (that is, after an additional month or two to analyze the final episode), and everything will be back to normal.