Help an Upset Teenager With This Glitter Jar Technique
When a teenager is really upset, parents often feel the need to do something – gather information (“Who hurt you and what is their phone number?” TED.
The first answer is better: get a jar of glitter.
Psychologist Lisa Damour writes about this idea in her new book Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls . When she sees the young man in melt mode, she simply takes a glass jar filled with water and sparkles (basically a handmade snow globe), shakes it and sets it on the table. “Let’s equalize your shine,” she says, and together they watch the tiny specks fall.
Damour explains that the sequin jar has double benefits. First, it provides adolescents with a specific model of their emotional distress. In The New York Times , Damour describes the neuroscience of overwhelmed adolescents because the areas of the brain that provide the ability for intelligence and sustained outlook cannot reach full maturity before age 25, the entire system can easily break down (read: a storm of sparkles). But as soon as the emotions return to their places, everything is reset. With the help of the bank, teens can get an idea of what is happening in real time.
But for parents, the bank is even more useful, says Damur. When the sparkle flashes in the can, this is what he tells them: “Be patient and express confidence that emotions almost always spring up, swirl and subside on their own,” she writes.
Parents, this means you don’t have to rush to decisions as soon as you see your teenager in distress. Sit down with your child and see if they want your company. Great feelings are not a fire to be extinguished. Damour writes, “Every time I stop myself from figuring out what the teenager has done upset, and instead focus on her right to just be upset, I find that doing this either solves the problem or helps clear the path of dealing with it. “
It is important to remember this. To help with that, it might be time to take a journey down the crafts aisle.
Helping teens cope with emotional storms “wiki useful The New York Times