Close Your Relationship’s Money Gap With a Data Dump
One of the keys to reaching a consensus about money with your partner is open and honest communication. Scheduling periodic money checks – be it weekly, monthly, etc. – is important in any relationship, Lifehacker told Lifehacker.
However, the problem can arise if you (or your partner) are in charge of most of the financial problems or decisions in your family. You can’t have an open and honest conversation if your partner doesn’t know what accounts you have and how they work.
At Rad Reads, Khe Hee suggests one way to fill this financial knowledge gap is the data dump. Noting that his wife Lisa, an artist, is not as preoccupied with finances as he is, he took the time to walk her through all of their accounts to keep her calm.
The “moment” we shared as a couple was as easy as logging into all accounts together (and the acrobatics of navigating my complex maze of two-factor authentication). This was accompanied by a list of the main counterparties (accountant, insurance representative, financial advisor and lawyer who drew up our will), as well as the ability to add her and children as beneficiaries for each account.
This process was a reminder that when it comes to money, a couple can operate in very different ways: I was in a quandary optimizing each account, and she just wanted to know where to “find” everything if the unthinkable happened.
I would add a few more points to Hee’s excellent list:
- View your joint spending together.
- Tell the partner about your investment and why a particular investment was chosen.
- Discuss the purpose of all of these accounts: what are your goals as a couple / family? How close are you to achieving these goals?
- Review all debt obligations and your repayment plan.
- Calculate your net worth together.
If you are a partner who is not financially savvy, well, that’s even more important to you.
Write a letter of intent
If this is one of the first time you and your partner discuss your finances, or the first time you discuss them honestly and thoroughly , Balance invites you to write letters to each other outlining what is important to you.
“In the letter, tell us about your financial background, including how your family handled money, and whether you think they did it right or wrong,” writes The Balance. “Discuss how rich you hope to become and what you are willing to sacrifice to get there. List your retirement dreams. “
This will give you the opportunity to realize your dreams together and come up with a comprehensive plan. It works because each of you is investing – each of you knows about emotional stakes and hard numbers.
But even if you skip the letters, making a list of accounts and logins that each of you have access to will ensure that you are on an equal footing and accountable to each other.