How to Move (and Stay Sane) When You Have Kids
Six years ago, my husband and I moved across the country from Arizona to the East Coast, where we both come from. At the time, we had a two-year-old child and an anxious cat – not to mention the furniture and possessions in the house we rented, the apartment we owned, and the storage room. It was much more difficult than when I moved to Arizona at 22 with only a wagon full of things.
When I look back a few years later, it still stands out as one of the most stressful times of my life. We did something right, but I would do something differently.
Look for recommendations
Especially when it comes to hiring truckers or delivering your vehicles, get referrals from people you know who have actually used a certain company. Cross-country travelers are known for saying, “Eh, your stuff will be there somewhere between now and forever. Probably. ”It will be more reassuring if you have a friend who is truly reunited with his property in a reasonable amount of time.
The company that transported our cars kept putting off the date when they could pick them up, until it finally seemed like they wouldn’t be arriving in Arizona for cars until we were in Pennsylvania. Phone calls with these guys tired me so much that my eyes inexplicably widened and stayed that way until a week after moving. Don’t let this happen to you; if at all possible, do research your options and collect recommendations from real people you know.
Ask for help
If you have money to spare, hire movers, even if the move is local. If you have more money, it’s even better to hire people who will actually pack your things; then you can focus less on packaging and more on clearing out what you don’t want to take with you. At the very least, get help to get help in the days leading up to the move. Your friends can help you pack the plates and coffee mugs, and your mom can take the kids to the park for a couple of hours while you pack the most fragile items.
On the day of the move, everything is ready. You need someone to entertain your child (s) and keep them safe while all the furniture and stacks of boxes are moved around. Especially if your kids are too young to fully understand what’s going on, they need someone on their own. When we moved, my son’s godparents took it upon themselves to feed him snacks, allowing him to keep an eye on the movers and keep him out of the road:
Before moving into a new home, try to get someone to get a job. If you don’t know anyone in your new city, ask colleagues for advice, have a family member or friend come over for the occasion, or use the babysitting / babysitting website. (As an added bonus to this latest offering, you’ll probably still need a nanny in your new city; this gives you the opportunity to test someone while you’re there to see them in action.)
Pack the nursery last / unpack first
Moving is a shock for adults; for children – especially toddlers – this can be downright disorienting and intimidating. Keep their room together and toys are available until the last moment. Consider letting them help pack some of their toys so they have a visual idea of where their belongings are so they don’t wake up the morning of the move in a panic about it.
If possible, put most of their belongings in the truck last so that it comes off first. When you get into your new home, priority number one is to install a crib / crib so they have a familiar place to rest. Priority number two is to arrange the rest of their room as best as possible so that they start to feel refocused.
Slow down
We closed our rental house at 11:00 pm, checked into the hotel shortly before midnight and left for the airport at 3:00 am. I strongly discourage doing this.
At the time, we thought we just wanted this to end. Remove the patch. In retrospect, our sanity would have been better preserved if we had given ourselves a little more room to breathe. After a long day of travel – and no sleep – the last thing we wanted to do was take a 5-hour flight across the country. A day (or at least a full night) just to chill out in the hotel would make much more sense.
Likewise, if you need to travel far to a new destination, consider splitting your trip into two shorter days and staying at your hotel overnight in the middle of the journey. Everyone will have less nerves if you are in less hurry.
When it comes to unboxing, just keep in mind that it will take a while. If after a month you still have boxes of unnecessary things pushed to the side of the dining room, so be it. Moving with kids is no joke. Unpacking often happens a couple of hours after they go to bed, around the same time that you feel like you’re doing absolutely nothing. If this is not a security risk, you can take your time unpacking less important items.
If you are moving with a newborn
Tyler from Facebook’s parenting group says she knew she would have to move when her baby was just a few weeks old. So, she collected everything she could before the birth of her daughter. She prepared frozen meals in disposable containers ahead of time and stocked up on paper plates and plastic utensils to pack the entire kitchen before the baby was born. She also recommends letting one parent make the move and the other the child:
My wife’s parents live 2 hours away from where we moved, so my daughter and I stayed there while my husband organized the check-in day. He stayed in his new location the first night without us and we joined him the next day after our bedroom, bassinet and air conditioner were ready for us. I would recommend mum and toddler a night at the hotel if there is no place for them to crash. It made life easier for all of us.
Throw away all the rules
Consider the day (or week) to cross as a holiday; not all normal rules regarding food, drink, and screen time apply. Give them whatever they want: all the snacks, all the juice boxes, all the lollipops, all the screens. Even a small gift or two.
You are in survival mode; just make them happy.