How to Quit
Getting fired always stinks. But there is something clearly humiliating about being fired from a gig as a workplace council reviewer.
I know because it happened to me.
Okay, technically I wasn’t fired . I was a freelancer and not a full-time employee. However, the net effect was the same when the New York Times finished The Workologist , a column I ran in the Sunday Business section for five and a half years. I have had experience with concerts ending differently. But for obvious reasons, there was something more existential or at least meta about it.
The good news is that my career as a workers’ council reviewer is not over. I’m writing a new column – obviously for Lifehacker, and it’s called Human Resources. I can’t wait to become a Cooler Therapist again helping you with your questions and dilemmas! There is no topic too big or too small: are you dealing with an ignorant boss, struggling to get the most out of the team you manage, or dealing with annoying habits of the person in the next office.
We all sometimes need a sympathetic ear and perhaps the advice of a neutral but benevolent third party. It’s me! And I am very glad to hear from you. Feel free to: humanresource@lifehacker.com .
Meanwhile, I reflected on my recent experience with a crisis at work, namely that I was kicked out. Recently I lived with advice that no one ever asked me: how to fire me.
I don’t mean it in the sense that it would force me to give advice on how I would be caught stealing or insulting your boss in public. And I’m not quite sure what to do when you get fired.
But what should you do before you get fired – what state you want to be, in other words, when come the bad news? This is a test (which I certainly never asked for) of how some of my general universal rules work when the worst happens.
Make your job search (mildly) permanent
This advice sometimes scares people or just sounds very depressing. So let me be clear: you don’t want to waste your weekend on every plausible job you can find for the rest of your life.
Instead, I suggest that you don’t wait for a major crisis (layoffs, terrible reorganization, your worst rival becomes your boss) to start thinking about other objects. It is best to always have some low, environmental awareness and openness to other professional opportunities. This is true even if you are in awe of what you are doing. Always grab lunch, or meet, or go to the informational interview that appears on your radar.
You never know when this could lead to some opportunity more attractive than what you have, or even just an intriguing side job. More importantly, if the day comes when you find yourself stumped, you will not start from scratch.
Remember that life is long
Always keep in touch with former work colleagues you respect and those you consider to be allies. When I received word that my column was ending, I immediately reached out to several past work contacts who I thought might have ideas. This turned out to be quite helpful.
The important thing here is to make sure you stay on good terms with non-obvious ex-coworkers – not just ex-bosses, subordinates, or anyone else. Maintain good relationships with colleagues you don’t even work with directly, assistants, and even interns. You never know whose opinion of you and your abilities will ever matter! So respect and strive to be respected by as many colleagues as possible.
It’s good for your career as well as your soul.
Show Selfish Compassion
If your employer has experienced a big change, take a step back and think about the possible consequences – even the worst . Most importantly, think about what this big change means from the perspective of those who made it, or those who directly benefit from it.
Let’s say you’re writing a workplace advice column for a large newspaper and a new editor appears in the section in which it appears. Hmm, what are the new editors doing? They change things! They replace existing columns with new columns!
It’s not personal. Let’s just say it happens to the best of us. Maybe a new boss (or some other big change) will suit you, or maybe not. The key is to think about this change from someone else’s point of view. Again, I don’t want you to be too pessimistic or paranoid, but it’s a smart idea to at least consider the worst-case scenario and what you can do to prepare yourself.
Meanwhile, don’t waste emotional energy on bitterness, gritting your teeth over the boss who offended you; their reasons probably had nothing to do with you. And maybe your paths will cross again. Life is long.
Stay open
The absolute most annoying career advice is: Reimagine problems, setbacks, insults, and humiliations as exciting opportunities.
Yes, we all understand the logic. In fact, we all understand this so well that we no longer need to hear this advice. Especially right after we just got fired, and it’s not interesting at all!
So let me try to suggest a slightly different reframing. As noted, losing a gig sucks. But take a deep breath and try to think with an open mind about what might happen next. This is, in a sense, just a re-formulation of the idea of “constantly looking for a job,” with a little polish on the pangloss.
What’s the bottom line?
It’s one thing to just spew this sound advice, as I’ve done for years. This is something else to live by . But luckily, I think my general philosophy of coping with the world of work has served me well in the end.
I, of course, hoped that the new boss would not set me up, but I cannot say that I was shocked when everything passed. Fortunately, I was constantly looking for work, and I had an alternative project in the background (the book will be out in May this year). And when the bad news came, I turned to my network, which is eternal for life, and this led to a very tempting offer. But I also stayed open and thrilled when I received another offer from Lifehacker that I actually accepted – which I honestly think is the perfect home for me.
And, of course, I also showed selfish empathy: I completely understand why my old bosses made their decisions, and I hope that everything works out. Life is long, maybe someday we will even work together again!
But right now, that’s the last thing I think about because I’m so excited about this new thing. I can’t wait for your answer. Here’s that address again: humanresource@lifehacker.com .