We Reject All Baby Sleep Hacks
I’ve been tasked with coming up with one parenting trick that I would like to briefly reject in honor of Waiver Week here at Lifehacker. The first thing that came to my mind was advice so obviously useless that I almost missed it:
Sleep when the baby sleeps
To begin with, just because a person is tired doesn’t mean they can fall asleep on command. One way to ensure that I cannot fall asleep is to insist on myself that I should fall asleep.
Secondly, if you are caring for the child in the first place, and the child has fallen asleep, it means that you are finally blissfully alone. You have to sleep? Yes, it is possible. But maybe you feel the urge to take care of this pile of dishes or the pile of laundry. Or do you really want to curl up on the couch and watch a show, or read a book, or call a friend.
Third, the first time you successfully fall asleep when the baby is asleep will undoubtedly be when the sleep lasts only 20 minutes.
Most sleep tips don’t work
Anyway, that’s why I completely reject this opinion. Then we started talking more about it on the parenting group Offspring Facebook, and it turns out that most of the tricks to get your child to sleep do seem like gimmicks. Putting them to bed while they are awake but still awake? Yes, that’s how Erica had a screaming, overworked baby.
Keeping them awake while breastfeeding? Of course, good luck.
Skip sleep or postpone them later so they sleep through the night? Hahahaha! Or wake them up earlier to adjust their sleeping time. What?? Not! This. Will. Reverse fire.
Some sleeping hacks are downright dangerous
Other “tricks” are so old-fashioned that we cannot recommend them with a clear conscience for obvious security reasons. Anyone whiskey on a pacifier? Let’s not. One of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard came to us thanks to band member Jennifer:
It’s terrible and not a real hack, but my dad tells the story of how when my older sister was born (1973) he said something at work about how they couldn’t get her to sleep. The woman said, “I have great advice! Just turn on the gas stove and hold your child over it, and the warmth and soot fumes will help him sleep. It worked for my children. ” Warmth and soothing fumes. From a gas oven. Dad was horrified.
Getting a child to sleep means over and over again by trial and error.
The peculiarity of hacking to put your child to sleep is that even if it works once, it does not mean that it will work again. Is always. Or what really works is so unusual and so individual for your child that you cannot recommend it to others. Do you know what ended up working for my son when he was about 9 months old? Let him cover his face with a breathable blanket and sway on his back in the crib. Try to find it in one of the parenting books.
You may need to do some combination of bouncing, wiggling, and singing to get your child to sleep. You may need to travel around the area at any time of the day or night. You may have to come to terms with the fact that you will be locked under their incredibly warm little bodies for as long as they want. Maybe you need to make sure they are not crying, or you need to insist on your own. We do not know! This is all by trial and error.
One member of the group sums it up well for us: “Hot conclusion: Some babies just hate sleep and the only thing they have to do is try to survive.”