Do It Alone
If you’re expecting the perfect person to show up and accompany you on a journey as big as the journey of a lifetime, or as small as visiting your favorite group, stop waiting. Just go.
We all have things that we would do if we could find someone to do it with us, but hoping that that person appears at the right time and place is missing out on a lot of experiences. Here is what wrote the user To Reddit u / AVaultOfWho on r / LifeProTips:
Don’t wait for others to do what you want to do because you don’t want to do it alone. By waiting, you are probably robbing yourself of the experience.
This is what I learned myself a long time ago. I was talking to someone the other day who said they hadn’t gone to see the movie yet because they were waiting to do it with another fan, and so this advice came to mind.
Even though I struggle with loneliness, I force myself to go to the movies or even the local theme park, because otherwise I would simply not be doing anything at home.
This is advice that I totally agree with as someone in their thirties who pretty much does their thing alone. This summer I traveled across the United States alone and visited 12 cities. It was lonely at times, but I ended up having an amazing experience. I have many new memories that make me look at the world and myself in a different way. If I had waited for someone to come with me, this would never have happened.
Forcing yourself to do something, even if you are alone, is an effective way to dispel that feeling and prevent loneliness from becoming chronic. But more importantly, what are you missing out on while waiting?
Following your interests
When you travel with a friend, family member, or lover, you have company. The company makes compromises. Traveling alone means never doing what you don’t want to do. As u /friendlywoodape wrote, they found they enjoy spending long working trips alone:
I soon realized how great it was to see a new city alone for the first time. Anything that grabs my attention, I can just go and see. I don’t have to worry about whether someone else is having a good time or whether I need to go make dinner – I am not at home, no one is there to really ask / I need time. I can do anything for myself.
Being free to follow your inclinations can feel overwhelming and you discover new things that might interest you.
Accumulation of experience
There are things that people always say they want to do but don’t want to do it. Maybe it’s the cost, maybe they are busy – whatever the reason, organizing a huge group of people to do something is quite difficult. So u / kazarnowicz decided to just go for this:
I wanted to get a skydiving license when I was 18 and put it off because I had friends who were willing but not enough to make the commitment. I put it off for years and ended up booking the course. I told friends who showed interest that I am taking this course on these dates, if they want to come, they can join. In the end, nobody made a commitment and I ended up doing it myself. It turned out to be not only cool (and the worst thing that I have done so far in my life), but also one of the most important events in my life. This comparison that I faced and conquered this fear helped me in many situations where I was afraid of something.
Don’t put off doing what you really want to do in the hope that someday the group will unite around this idea.
To make friends
Maybe none of the people you know want to do something, or they are not available. You are more likely to meet people interested in skydiving, surfing or long distance running when you are actually doing it, and not among those you already know. As u / Whiskerz1337 pointed out , even starting with a friend doesn’t guarantee a permanent partner:
I waited several months to start doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and tried to persuade a friend to join me. In the end, he did it, but lasted no more than a few weeks. After 6 months I am still exercising, making new friends at the gym, I really love it. One of the best things I’ve ever done.
Sometimes it’s nice to be alone. Sometimes it doesn’t and I feel lonely. This is a sign that some growth is about to occur, which means that you will leave your home and fully explore new possibilities.