Use Instagram to Chat With Your Teen
As my son approached adolescence, I braced myself for the inevitable behavior that teens often exhibit. I waited for my eyes to roll and burst out of my mouth. I braced myself for a slam of the door and a groan. I endured years of silence with a sullen teenager. I have often heard parents of teenagers joke that “you will get your child back” when they go to college.
Parents of teenagers are not given a guide when it comes to keeping lines of communication open. Nobody tells you how to behave when your teen is thinking in his room because of a fight with a friend or because you greeted each other when they got home from school. Communication with a teenager trying to gain independence is at least trying.
But when it comes to daily interactions with a teenager, I’ve discovered a secret weapon: social media. In particular, Instagram, which kept me and my son connected, even during our darkest teenage days.
It’s so easy to focus on the dangers of social media – and yes, parents should worry about strangers contacting their child through direct messages or inappropriate images appearing in news feeds. But the fact is, teenagers use social media not only to communicate with their friends, but also to show the world their talents and interests.
When he joined Instagram at 15, we set a few ground rules. He agreed to let me follow his account and we discussed behavior that violated the terms of the deal (bullying by allowing strangers to follow him, etc.).
For my part, I promised not to be the police of the rules of Instagram. And I also promised not to use too many emoji in my comments.
What began as a mutual awareness of each other’s presence on Instagram has gradually evolved into everyday communication. My son’s Instagram account is a goldmine for starting conversations on the days when “How was your day?” I’m not going to cut it. He often asks me, “Mom, did you like the photo I posted today?” We talk about his subject and he explains to me how he reached certain angles or filters.
He comments on my posts too, and his comments are full of wit and humor, which, as I often forget, are hidden behind his sometimes irritable teenage appearance.
Instagram gives us something harmless to talk about on those days when we feel like we’re doing nothing but butting. Whether it’s discussing a post from an account we both follow, or he casually asking me how my huevos rancheros were at the local diner (because if you don’t post this, you didn’t eat it, am I right?) with my teen on social media helped me learn about him on a deeper level.