Never Veto a Plan Without Suggesting a Better Option.
Making plans with friends, loved ones, and romantic partners should be an easy process, if not enjoyable. And yet, so many people are absolutely terrible, muddying the waters with insecurity, inability to grasp or take into account basic details, poor communication skills, and sheer laziness.
I can’t pretend to fix it all with one blog post, but I can try to get rid of at least one common unexplained disaster with a simple request: if someone you’re making plans with offers something that no ” I do not work for you or I am contacting you, tell me about it! But if this is indeed the person you want to see, and you veto what he offers, you are 100% obligated to come up with an alternative. If you do not, the other party (or parties) involved in your planning have every right to assume that you are a) not interested in spending time with them, or b) too inconvenient to worry. with, and should be completely eliminated from future freezes. Fairly fair.
We can even consider a few examples of how this can happen if it is not immediately intuitive. Do you want to be asked to go to the area? Okay, what alternative location would be convenient for you and those with whom you are making plans? Secretly hate bowling or something else? Quite understandably, maybe there is another activity that everyone would like (and maybe your friends will even want to find one if you talk to them about your feelings)?
Not in the mood for pizza? Quite cool, but what else would you like to eat? And where are there restaurants in every price range where you could buy this thing? (If you are on a picky diet or on a special diet, these rules apply to you tenfold. Keeping in mind your needs is your responsibility, not everyone else’s. God!)
Here’s a simple question: Is the date or time on the table not on your schedule? Things are good! Suggest alternatives! Etc. Maintaining your end of the social contract sometimes takes a little extra effort and attention, even if you’re texting and in a rush. If it’s too difficult, maybe you better just stay at home.