How to Help Girls With ADHD
My brother was diagnosed with attention deficit / hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in elementary school. A neurological disorder caused by inadequate production of attention-regulating chemicals in the brain, ADHD is of three types: inattentive, hyperactive / impulsive, and combination. He was hyperactive, literally climbing the walls, moving along the cargo beam between our dining room and kitchen. His energy was undeniable.
While my parents were trying to get him out of anything climbable, they had to get me out of my books. I read for hours, completely unaware of what was around me. When I didn’t read, I left. Once, when I was getting on a bus, the wind blew a piece of paper out of my hand. I walked along it for a mile before I looked up and realized that I had no idea where I was.
My mother – not doctors and not my school – also noticed something else in me. She read Raising a Strong Child by Dr. James Dobson and looked for ways to help my brother. But with each chapter, she thought: “It sounds not so much to him as to her .” By the end of the book, she knew that I, too, had attention deficit. I was officially diagnosed with inattentive ADHD only in the tenth grade.
Certified ADHD Trainer Elaine Taylor-Klaus says it’s common: “ADHD is only diagnosed when it causes problems in critical areas of life or learning.” While I would say I dropped out of school without telling anyone it was a problem, this is not the kind that usually leads to a diagnosis. “Suspension” or frivolous girls don’t interfere with school or create discipline problems, she adds, “so they’re not easy to recognize.”
The first important step in helping children with ADHD is finding out what they have. But, according to Taylor-Klaus, “the problem for girls in the first place is getting a diagnosis.” Here’s what to do if you think your daughter has a medical condition:
Make sure she is properly diagnosed with ADHD.
Despite the diagnosis my brother and I have, boys are not always hyperactive and girls are not always inattentive. According to Taylor-Klaus, who is the parent and herself of two daughters with attention deficit disorder, female hyperactivity is often suppressed or manifested differently. “Girls are expected to be ‘like’ and socially oriented,” she explains, so they learn coping skills earlier than boys, who are allowed to perform in public, be aggressive, or stay physically for much longer.
Beware of gender bias
If you are raising a boy and girl with ADHD, it is easy to fall into stereotypes about the best way to help: teach him to sit still and her to concentrate. But Taylor-Klaus says it’s not that simple. “Effective parenting strategies for children with ADHD need to be truly individual for everyone, regardless of gender,” she explains. The idea that certain techniques work better for boys than girls comes from gender bias, not neurological science, she said: “It’s a child’s brain, not the field.”
This gender bias also means that boys and girls face different social hardships as a result of ADHD. Taylor-Klaus says that an inattentive boy who would rather draw than play “may face social problems.” He is expected to be active rather than dreamy. In comparison, “young hyperactive girls may prefer to play with boys over girls in the playground,” adds Taylor-Klaus, “not always acceptable. By the time girls start standing and talking during recess, girls with ADHD still need to move – and find it difficult to find the ‘right’ way to do it. “
It’s too early to talk about sex
Girls with the hyperactive / impulsive type may become sexy earlier than their peers. Taylor-Klaus says: “To the outside world, this may not look like hyperactivity, but they are still dealing with a body that seeks stimulation.” Thus, while hypersexual boys and adolescents learn to control their hormones, your daughter’s behavior may be influenced by her neurotransmitters. For parents facing this problem, Taylor-Klaus suggests reading the study by Dr. Stephen Hinshaw, a psychiatrist who publishes articles on ADHD and the female brain.