How to Apologize so People Will Forgive You
The best apologies come from true self-reflection and understanding. You did something wrong, you understand why it was not so, and you want to change the situation for the better. This does not mean that the person who hears this will accept your conciliatory gesture.
There are times in life when you need someone to accept an apology so that both of you can move on, but they don’t want to. They may not think your apology is genuine, or they may not be willing to forgive. Some of these scenarios are best done with patience, but Reddit useru / CyberneticPanda started a thread about how they try to get to the point right away:
If you make a mistake, acknowledge the mistake, apologize, and explain what steps you will take to prevent it from happening again in the future. It is very difficult for people to yell at you if you have done this.
In both professional and personal life, I know a group of people who refuse to admit their mistake. When I’m wrong (and we all do it at some point), I immediately admit it. Taking responsibility, apologizing, and saying that I will do this to prevent it from happening again, not only do I avoid lecturing about what I did wrong, but I also receive gratitude from my boss / friend / whoever.
If you screw up, admit it right away and tell me what you will do better in the future. People are so confused that someone takes responsibility that they will end up thank you for your own blunder.
Is this somewhat manipulative? Depends. In work scenarios, taking responsibility is a tactic that doesn’t necessarily play on the emotions of friends and loved ones who love you – you’re just trying to get through the day and keep your job. There is a hidden danger in this strategy, as u / Ahrotahntee_ wrote :
Responsibility for mistakes is one of the qualities of a good employee.
Anyway! You must remember that in every career, there are times when you are faced with something that you could have prevented, but were not directly your responsibility.
You need to be sure the problem is about something you should be apologizing for, not linking it to its source; otherwise you will become the scapegoat.
There are many things a person can do to prevent the mistakes of others; but it is not always your responsibility to mitigate these risks.
Basically, beware of turning yourself into a problem child in the office. This is still good advice if you want to move further than you want to be right. Nothing aggravates the mistake as if the victim did all the work to fix the situation. Take the initiative and you will be much, much closer to forgiveness.