Confirmed: Women’s Trouser Pockets Are Bullshit.

Extensive major research has confirmed what women have known – and cried about – for some time: the pockets on our jeans are bullshit. While concrete, empirical evidence does not alter the reality of the sexist pocket gap that exists in modern fashion, we have to start somewhere, and I can’t help but feel a little justified.

Earlier this year, I was stolen. This was partly due to the fact that I greatly underestimated the skill of the Parisian pickpockets, but mainly because I did not follow my own advice and did not wear overalls (the most ideal clothing for travel). When I wrote an article in which I explained my stupidity and defended everything in general , I was greeted by a loud (with a male voice) chorus: “Why didn’t you just put your wallet in your front pocket, dumbass?” (There were also a few yells, “But jumpsuit won’t make men want to mate with you,” but such boring idiocy shouldn’t be unpacked.)

ANYWAY. The good folks at have done a very thorough investigation of men’s and women’s pants pockets (20 popular brands have been looked at) and what they found will amaze you. (If you are a cis-hat dude. If you carry women’s pockets, you just say, “Oh, yeah”). You should click the link below to read the full report – and play around with some damn interactive pocket graphics – but here are a few highlights:

  • “On average, women’s jeans have pockets 48% shorter and 6.5% narrower than men’s.” This is basically half the size. Considering this is where most women hold their hips, this property is even more valuable and the conclusion is even more dire.
  • Only 40% of women’s front pockets fit a wallet specially designed to fit in front pockets.
  • Only 10% of women’s pockets can fit in a lady’s hand. (And Alanis cried because her song couldn’t be sung.)
  • Only 5% of female pockets fit a male hand, which means I have to keep my severed male hands in a large NPR bag, which is honestly just a slight inconvenience.

As you can see, the evidence is shocking (for men who don’t actually talk to women that much). While I’m sure there are many strategies I could use to prevent theft even without wearing a jumpsuit – putting a wallet in your front pocket is not one of them, and I bet all of you who suggested it feel yourself pretty stupid. currently. (Just kidding, men who yell at me online are rarely ashamed of this kind of thing.)

Women’s pockets are the worst |


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